WAITING FOR THE BEGINNING

30. Plum Wine, Lanterns and Nightingale

They take three different train connections to get outside of Nanjing.  On the last leg of the trip, he picks up her hand and holds it on his lap.  Just a little too tightly that gives her a sense of being claimed and protected.  He holds her hand as they disembark and walk thru the quaint seaside town.  

She is pleased and confused, watching his big hand holding hers.  And the way he touches the ring as if to declare and assure her, or perhaps himself.   Her hand has memory of being held in a similar way, but not with such strong emotion.

They meander thru the streets full of little food vendors, local artisans and other couples.

Their day ends at a little inn, with a second story restaurant overseeing the canals, alight with crisscrossing lines of lanterns.

He pours her the local plum wine - sweet and tart, just enough to sip for a little hazing effect.

"My assignment should be over by year's end." Wei Xin chooses his words carefully.  

Ping Ping ponders on that information.  "That's good, Isn't it?"

"If all goes according to plan."

"And if it doesn't..."

"Then, I don't know how long I will be gone."

"You've told me this before."  Ping Ping looks hopefully at him.  "Yet you are here."

"It's different time."  The seriousness in his voice gives her an ominous feeling. "If things don't go as planned, I've asked Tao Zhen to get you back to your family."

"You found them?"  Ping Ping's heart skips a beat - an excitement tainted with trepidation.

Wei Xin looks way.  More than a few months ago,  the system matched her face to a cold case - a young girl presumed to be dead.  He halted the investigation until he can spend more time to verify the information.

He tells himself  that he wants to be sure of the facts, so as not to set her up for disappointment. He wants to be the one delivering her back.  To keep his promise. This is what he tells himself.  Yet he knows, this is not entirely true.

He recalls feeling aghast and relieved that she is barely legal; then a feeling of being incredibly old at thirty. Finally a sense of "how lucky" would he be if he were in a real relationship with her.

He wants to know who she really is. And if there isn't already a someone in her life or if that someone has already moved on...he just wants her to fall for him a little more.  To increase his chance of them being a real couple.  After she regains her memories.  These and more of these types of thoughts remain hidden in his heart.  So hidden that even he is not fully aware.

So he turns to give her his three words.

"Before I take you back to your family...."  He begins.  "I wish to come back here again...and to share another bottle of plum wine, watch the lanterns light up the canals and hear the nightingales sing.  Like tonight."

Together, they finish nearly six bottles of plum wine.  Not used to alcohol, Xiang Ling / Ping Ping can barely stand.  He puts her on his back - with slow and deliberate steps, he brings the two of them to the train station.

Before they board that last leg of the train, he jostles her awake.  

"We need to sit separately."  He reminds her.  "You cannot sleep on the train.  It's not safe."

"Um."  She rubs her eyes.

"Ling Ling."  He touches her face.  "Do you remember the last thing I told you.  At the inn?"

"Um."  She nods.  He waits for her to say it.  "That before you return me to my family, you want to go back to that inn.  To drink more plum wine.  See the lights on the canal.  And hear that nightingale sing."

"Good girl.  It's lanterns.  Not lights."

He kisses her forehead.  "Plum Wine." 

He kisses her nose.  "Lanterns."  

He kisses her cheek.  "Nightingale."  

He kisses her other cheek.  "Ok?"

She looks at him.  Not sure what he is really asking.  But what ever it is, her answer to him is yes.  she nods.

He leans in and kisses her.   His five o'clock shadow now nearly half a beard scratches her face.  The pain only intensifies the sensation of his mouth.  It has longing, desperation and a taste of good bye.

In that moment, Xian Ling / Ping Ping realizes that she doesn't really want to go back to her life.  This man's kiss intoxicates her and grounds her at the same time.  It is two desperate people needing each other.  And she doesn't remember ever being needed.  Or the feeling that her life has such great meaning for another.

Wei Xin knows that he probably should not have kissed her.  But after a long stint with Hong Ge, he wants to feel that life can be pure again.  This woman.  This girl before him is a mixture of all those things he thought he has long lost - hope, innocence, normality.  He knows that he's taking something that he shouldn't.  But he cannot help himself.  

Then he lets her go, with her face flushed and her lips swollen from the force of his kiss.  He walks away to the other train cart.  Without even looking, he knows the moment she has stepped off the platform onto the other cart.  That kiss altered something between them - something that now connects them.