WAITING FOR THE BEGINNING

36. Is a Fake Husband Still a Husband

In the small interview room, where the search started, Lee Ping Ping aka Zhang Xian Ling sits quietly while Agent Ho confirms her identity officially.  He hands her new identifications and asks for her to return the ones with Zhang Xian Ling's name.

In less than twenty-four hours, she's gone from a missing person to an orphan.  More accurately, an amnesiac to a stranger.  She wishes that Wei Xin were there. 

Her fingers glide across the photo of her and a lovely middle-age couple, wearing matching red and white scarfs.  (The photo she used as the screensaver.)   She cannot remember them - her parents.  And that makes her saddest of all.

When Agent Ho summarizes the information they had on her disappearance, it is as if she were listening to a news report about someone else's life.  Perhaps it is because Agent Ho tells it so factually, devoid of any emotions or conjectures.

"What happens now.?"  She asks.

"Typically," Agent Ho coughs.  "You'd be reunited with your family.  But in your case..."

"I don't have any."  She finishes it for him.

"I'm not sure about that."  Tao Zhen speaks gently.  "I believe you will learn more when you meet with CEO Chin."

She nods.  Yet all she can think of is that the only family she has known for the past three years is Wei Xin, her husband, and Yeh Yeh.  To think of Wei Xin in that way is so strange, yet so right.  Even though she's no longer Zhang Xian Ling.  His wife.  His fake wife.  No.  The title might be fake. The marriage not real. But their relationship is real. Is it not? Those feelings they have. Are they not real? The kiss they shared? Is it any less real than what she cannot remember...her relationship with De Yi from he previous life as Lee Ping Ping?

As they leave the police sub-station, Lee Ping Ping suddenly realizes that maybe she cannot go home again - the apartment where she has spent many nights waiting for Wei Xin.  

"Do I need to move out of the apartment?"  She knows the answer already.

"I'm afraid it is necessary." Tao Zhen answers truthfully.

"Can I have a few days to pack up?"  Actually, she knows that it would take her less than 5 minutes to put together all that belonged to her  - the colored pastels from Wei Xin and the few pieces of clothing she owns, plus the empty bottle that once contained the plum wine she shared with Wei Xin.

"It will take him more than a few days."  Tao Zhen reads her mind and with sad resolve, he informs her.  "Even I don't know when."

"Uncle Tao," Lee Ping Ping lips quiver, afraid of the answer to the next question. "Will I ever see him again?"

Tao Zhen's expression reveals nothing.  He has his instructions.  

"I don't know."  He puts his hand on her shoulders and embraces her like an uncle.  "But he says that his duty to you ends here."

Much later, when Wei Xin learns of Lee Ping Ping's reaction that day, he berates himself for making her sad and for being glad to know she longs for him.  He cannot afford this right now.

Half a dozen beers later, Tao Zhen asks, nearly accusingly.   "How much of a husband were you to her?"  

"What are you asking."  Wei Xin finds the question offensive, but he doesn't really have an answer.

"I'm asking if you treated her like a wife."  

"Are you asking if I had sex with her?"  Wei Xin leans over to Tao Zhen.  "Why is it any of your business."

"Are you stupid?"  Tao Zhen hits him over the head.  "If that were the case, then you are married to that Hong Ge many times over."

Wei Xin drink more alcohol to drown out that statement.

"I'm asking," Tao Zhen puts his hand over his heart.  "If you have Zhang Xian Lin in your heart, as your woman.  Your wife.  Someone you love and treasure.  And would die to protect."

"No."  Wei Xin lies without pause.  It is the only way to get through this.  "I was Xian Ling's...I mean...Lee Ping Ping's guardian for a while.  But not more."

"You were only a husband in name then?"  Tao Zhen presses on.  "And you would feel nothing if she were to get back together with that tea house guy."

"No."  Wei Xin lies again.  "I'd feel happy that she's returning to the life she should have had."

Tao Zhen knows Wei Xin is full of it.  He snort derisively.

"Okay Okay." Wei Xin waves his hand.  "Enough of the this.  Let's get on with the next phase.  We need to wrangle up some shipping manifest."