The Last Royal (The 100)~Bellamy Blake

Chapter 38: I Love You's

Lexa set her eyes on Clarke who stood up along side her mother. They had seen the commander enter and had quickly tried to gather themselves.

Lexa glanced to me and I nodded for her to tell them.
"The boys body will be burned in Tondc so justice may be given to the families of those lost." As soon as Lexa finished my father stepped toward her.

"No. Absolutely not. The boy should go with our people." He shook his head following Lexa's eyes as she looked to me.

"Dad..." He gave me a disbelieving look.

"Serafina! No. We have done enough. The boy should be buried by his own people-" I cut him off with a yell.
"Enough!" I huffed in mental exhaustion before gathering myself.

"We will ride to Tondc and those families will have justice. We will have peace and then work together to get all of our people out of Mount Weather." When finished talking I looked to Lexa and nodded.

"Heda gon Sonraun is right. After he is burned in the flames then we will discuss an alliance. Until then choose your attendants, we leave at dawn." Lexa told Clarke as she looked back to me.  (Commander of Life.)

"As we had discussed before princess you may choose to go with them for the night. Although I do hope that you would honor me tomorrow morning and ride beside me?" I smiled lightly and nodded my head.

"It would be my pleasure. Thank you Commander." I told her.
This was our silent agreement. We called each other by our titles when with other people. When we were just talking alone then we called each other by our first names.

"Commander, I believe I need to go and attend to that thing we discussed. If it does not turn out well then I will be back tonight." She smiled and bowed her head slowly once. I returned it as a goodbye before she walked out.

After Commander Lexa left Abby, Clarke, my father, and I did as well.
With the three of them giving me angry and distraught looks I walked ahead of them.

Before making it out of the camp Indra had stopped me and the others.
She held out a folded stack of cloth.

"Heda was told Mount Weather took your outfit she gave you for the meeting in Tondc. This is another one exact same as the first. She felt it was only right that the people saw their original Heda gon sonraun once more." (Outfit from chapter 20)

I nodded smiling and took the top and dress from her.
"Tell the commander thank you please Indra." She bowed before she walked away.

Eventually making it back to camp with the others trailing behind me, I was walked through the gate.

There were no whispers and if any looks were given I was unaware as I kept my eyes to the ground. I used this time to process and grow stronger. I had gone through alot mentally today.

Ignoring them all, I made my way to my room to pack for the trip and the unknown amount of days I would spend there in Tondc. Once inside I shut the door and walked over to my closet.

I grabbed a bag shoving in two dresses (no pink one's) and undergarments with some other things. After putting in my hygiene stuff there was three knocks on my door.

I walked over cracking it open.
Bellamy stood there with a concerned look on his face.

I opened the door wider and shut it once he was in. Walking over to the bag on my bed I continued to put in my grounder clothes and the outfit from Lexa. I packed my three crowns and black grounder tiara along with my shoulder sash.

"A man on a horse rode up to the gate with a message from the commander." I turned and looked at him.
"She told us it is a full day ride and we camp for one night so we arrive the next morning." I nodded taking off my swords and shoes.

"She also requested you ride beside her formally....my guess is she wants you to wear a dress not grounder clothes." I sighed taking out two dresses. One for the day ride tomorrow and another for when we arrive.

"You told Clarke you were sorry?" I finally spoke up turning to him.

He nodded walking a few steps closer.
"I didn't mean to push you away or hurt you..or get angry."
I sighed in despair as he continued.

"All I needed in that moment was for you to tell me that we could have a chance. That you were okay and that you still have feelings for me. Because of my fears, I pushed you away." I gave him a tired smile at his words.

Walking over to him I grabbed his hand and looked in his eyes as we moved backwards. When we reached the bed we sat down together so we could talk.

He smiled and started to rub circles on my hand with his thumb.

"Sera I've been thinking it over...I understand how you wanted to protect me by putting yourself in danger. I just need you to know that I love you but-"

"I loved you too Bellamy." He looked at me in the silence that filled the room.

"But I need time." I continued.

"I don't have time." He told me. I was so mentally exhausted by everything thrown at me today. I needed him to understand.

"What I was trying to say is that I realized how you felt when you took my punishment for me. I have to do that for you now...put myself in danger for you." Now he was talking crazy. My head is already mush.

"We need an inside man for the attack on Mount Weather Sera. I need to do it. Our friends need me." Tears started to well up in my eyes. First Gian and now him. I'm never gonna stop losing people. Tears ran down my face.

"Shhhh it's okay love." He kissed my forehead hugging me now.

"It's the only way sweetheart." He whispered as he reached over and gave me water before pulling back the covers on the bed. He layed us down and put me on his chest cuddling me as I continued to cry. First Finn then Gian and now Bellamy. I lost so many of my people due to this stupid war and this stupid planet. Why can't I ever just have peace? Maybe even happiness?

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The next morning I woke up to Bellamy already dressed and sitting on the bed.
"Sweetheart?" He questioned. I smiled a little as I sat up. He kissed my cheek.

"Morning love." He said showing me his dimpled smile.

"Good morning to you too." I looked around confused everything was ready for me. That was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.

"It's almost time to leave." I looked at him in shock.

Not replying to him I quickly jumped out of bed and started getting ready. After finishing up and grabbing my bag we ran outside.

He pulled me to a stop once we saw everyone lining up at the gate.
"You look beautiful by the way." He said kissing me on the forehead. Once we pulled back he gave me a boyish smile.

"I had to." He told me with a shrug. I nodded understanding.

"Let's go." I told him holding his hand.
We skipped the line and went right to the gate.

Two guards were riding up to the gate on horses. When they stopped they just stared at me silently but I still understood.

I turned to Bellamy.
"I have to go ride with the commander Bell." He nodded.

I gave him a short hug but before I could get far he pulled me back by my hand. He sighed looking at me before wrapping his arms around me and giving me a longer more meaningful hug. I fought the tears that wanted to come to the surface from the way it made me feel. He let me go after a minute.

"Now you can go." He nodded to the gate.