Severus Snape: The Half Blood Prince

*(68) Goodbyes

He caught her and held her gently, "Ready." He repeated her own words to her and they exited the cold Shack of a house to continue making fun memories in Hogsmeade.

With each crumble of snow beneath their feet, it slowly transformed into leaves that were crisp and dry, and the sound morphed into the delightful crunching of autumn foliage. The fantastically snowy atmosphere of the Shrieking Shack had relinquished its hold on them as they returned to the charming village front of Hogsmeade. The warmth slowly crept back to their faces, though they still felt a pleasant chill from the specks of water that had frozen on their skin.

Sophie's emotions were a whirlwind of conflicting desires. She longed for some time alone, yet craved the comforting presence of her friends and allies, even if it meant being near both Severus and Sirius. Guilt gnawed at her stomach, intensifying with every second she stood beside Sirius, fearing that he might already know her true identity—a liar and a traitor. She wasn't a coward; she faced intellectual challenges head-on, always prioritizing reason over raw emotions, which were often too overwhelming for her to handle.

Questions raced through her mind, each one chipping away at her sense of self: What kind of Slytherin has so much empathy? Who would willingly sacrifice themselves for their loved ones during times of war? What use do you have to me if you cannot obey my commands? These internal struggles only added to her internal turmoil.

As they walked, she looked to her left and observed Sirius, his cheeks still flushed from the cold and his eyes squinted against the chilly breeze. "Have you ever thought about... mmm... never mind," she trailed off, catching her tongue before revealing anything too personal about her past.

"Thought about what? Go on," Sirius urged, his lip twitching with curiosity.

Sophie quickly composed herself and replied, "Thought about death." It was a fanatically vague noun that pertained to nothing specific in her mind.

"Well, yes. Quite often, actually. Mainly along the lines of those around me, never my own mortality," he admitted, contemplating aloud.

Sophie's voice wavered with a hint of vulnerability as she spoke, "For some reason, I can only think about others' deaths, not my own. Since... that October..." Her words hung in the air, carrying the weight of memories she dared not reveal. The truth, her true identity, lurked beneath the surface, threatening to spill out at any moment; she hoped that Sirius wouldn't delve deeper into her troubled thoughts, for the burden of her secret was far too heavy to bear if exposed.

They were approaching the inn, and despite the remaining daylight, Sophie instinctively turned towards the entrance. She felt the weariness creeping into her bones as they ascended the stairs, and she realized that her earlier words held a grain of truth.

"Are you calling it a day already? It's still pretty early, just past noon," Sirius inquired, glancing at a clock hanging between floors as they climbed.

"I... I just need to relax for a bit... you can explore more if you'd like," Sophie replied, her voice carrying a tinge of exhaustion. As they approached the room, she fumbled with the key, dropping it near the edge of the carpet. In her haste to retrieve it, her hand briefly intertwined with Sirius's, but the coldness of his hands didn't seem to bother her.

Inside the room, she felt like a stranger to herself. Her body moved mechanically, shedding the extra layers of clothing to find comfort in the familiar space. On the other side of the room, Sirius mirrored her actions.