She's A King

10.

Margaret King
I stared at my phone that was on my bed.
I walked around it and shrugged off my jacket, leaving me in my crop top and leggings.
The phone was mocking me.
It knew I didn't want to call him.
But my heart wanted to call him.
My logical head told me that I didn't want to date Taron.
But my heart and my feelings told me I wanted to call him and ask him to hang out with me.
I had never had this feeling before.
I never liked anyone before.
And now Taron comes along and he's trying to pry himself into my walled off heart.
Part of me didn't want to have a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend meant having someone trying to get into your thoughts and feelings and ideas and I'd always kept those to myself.
It was safer that way.

"Just pick up the damn phone" I said to myself, running my hands through my hair.
"This is so stupid, just call him, there's no harm, unless he's with Emily." I said to myself with a groan.
"Right, I'm calling him"
I picked up the phone and dialled his number.
I paced around the room and bit my nails as it rang.
"Hello?"
"Fuck" I said and hung up quickly.

I panicked.
I couldn't ask him.
No way.
That would mean that I had given in to my feelings.
I sat down on my bed and pushed my phone onto the floor.
I was so stupid.

As I was sitting on my bed fiddling with one of my throwing stars when a knock at my door sounded making me slip and cut my finger.
"Stupid twat." I said at the door. "Whoever you are you've made me bleed!" I shouted before swinging the door open.
"You're bleeding again?"
"Oh, Oh! Hi, er hi yeah. No I'm fine just a slip up" I said and cursed myself for saying too many words in an awkward way. "Do you want to come in?"
"Sure" Taron shrugged and i moved out of the way to allow him to walk in.

"So, Taron, what can I do for you?" I said closing the door.
"Well, you called me, then swore and hung up. So, I was confused and then worried, and now I'm here" he said and I nodded.
"Oh. Yeah I did call you didn't I?" I said trying to wipe the blood of my finger.
"Yeah. So what did you want?"
"Nothing"  I said quickly and shook my head.
"Oh, well we have a lecture now, so you want to walk together?" He asked.
"Shit I forgot. Yeah, yes please" I said and quickly grabbed my bag.

We walked down to the lecture hall making awkward conversation.
I was acting so unlike me.
I hated acting like it.
But I never had had any feelings for a boy before, so I didn't know how to act.
"Sit next to me?" Taron whispered.
"What about Emily?"
"Shes already sat over there" he smiled and I couldn't help but smile.
"Oh" I said and nodded slowly.
"You seem happy about that" he whispered.
I scoffed and picked out my laptop.

"Show me something cool?" Taron whispered half way through our lecture.
My heart fluttered and I felt my cheeks turn pink.
"Like what?" I whispered and my palms got sweaty as he leaned closer towards me.
"I don't know, ok, Show me all the information you can find on me" he whispered.
"Piece of cake" I grinned and typed away on the computer.
It took me two minutes to access all the files there were about Taron.
I turned my computer towards him and his eyes went wide.
Before he could say anything, the booming voice of our lecturer interrupted.
"One of you outshone everyone else in this essay!" He said.
"You" I said to Taron and he shrugged.
The grin on his face let me know that he knew it was him.
"Margaret King!" He said and my head snapped up.
"What?"
"Margaret King. You're essay was one of the best I have ever read while I've been at the university" he said and my jaw dropped.
"No fucking way" I gasped.
"It's really quite amazing. Ok. Everyone get your papers here at the front" he said.

I packed away my stuff and my heart was filled with pride.
"Hey do you want to like, hang out? Just us?" I asked, but when I turned to Taron, I realised he was no longer there.
My heart fell as I searched the room and saw him talking to Emily.
She was rubbing his back and he was flipping through his paper.
I quickly went down to the desk and picked up my paper.
"Miss King. I just wanted to say that you're one of my best students. Keep it up and I want you to start thinking about the student law opportunities we have here" the professor said and I nodded.
"Thank you." I nodded before walking off.

"How Do you do it?" I heard from behind me.
I turned to see Emily and Taron coming towards me.
"Do what?"
"Do you cheat? Have your parents write the essays for you?" Emily spat and I was taken back.
"Is there a problem?" I asked mainly aiming the question at Taron.
"Why are you looking at him?"
"Am I not allowed to look at people without your authorisation?"
"You need it if you're wanting to look at the guy I fancy" she whispered in my ear,  a smirk playing on her face.

I could almost feel the walls strengthening around my heart.
I looked at both of them, but Taron didn't meet my eye.
"Wipe the smirk off your face, it doesn't suit you" I grinned before turning on my heels.
I walked away from the hall and angrily stomped away to the courtyard.
I wanted to cry.
The one time I liked someone, a girl who is so much more like him fancies him as well.
It was a horrible feeling.
I didn't enjoy it at all, and it didn't feel natural.

"Maggie!"
I didn't turn round.
"Maggie!"
"Want to accuse me some more?" I scoffed.
"No." Taron breathed stopping in front of me.
"Then what do you want?"
"Why are you so cold?" He asked and I scrunched my hand into a fist.
"Because people never want to know me! They never want to actually get to know me for me. They just assume I'm a criminal and don't want me. So why should I be nice to others if they're not nice to me?"
"I'm nice to you. And yet you're still off with me" he said and I shook my head.
"You're different" I said quietly.
"Why?"
I just shrugged.
"You have to tell me"
"I don't have to tell you anything." I shrugged and continued to walk.
"What if we hung out? Just you and me" he said and I could feel the blush creep onto my cheeks.
"Emily won't like that"
"I don't really care. We're not dating" he said and we both tried, but failed, to hide our smiles.
"Ok then"
"Meet you in the courtyard at six?" He asked and I nodded, worried that if I spoke, id seem too keen. "See you then"

I walked away from Taron, clutching my papers in my hand.
It wasn't a date, even though I wanted to say it was.
I wanted to believe that he would be open to getting to know me as well as Emily, even though she was probably better suited to him.
I just had to keep telling myself that Taron wasn't his parents.

'See you in an hour Xx'
I stared at my phone and uncharacteristically squeaked at the little message.
'Ok courtyard'