Fluffy Phan One-Shots

Coming Out

Time Set: 2010

Dan didn't know what to do. He had just gotten to know Phil. All of Phil. After all the shit he's been through in his life, Dan felt that- in all honesty- he didn't have anyone. The only person he really had was Phil, and he couldn't lose him. But he knew Phil and Phil was an honest person. Phil was himself all of the time and probably expected Dan to feel the same. Phil told Dan everything and Dan claimed to do the same... but in reality, he was hiding a secret from Phil- one he had been struggling with for all of his damn life. Dan fancied guys. 

He didn't know what he was. He claimed he was bisexual, but in reality, he hadn't been into a girl since grade five. He figured he was gay, but every time he tried to admit that to himself, he denied it. So, for now, in his mind, he was bi. He hasn't told anyone this. Sure, he would say it on the internet and people heard about it, but he never actually said it out loud or to anybody he was close to. Either way, seeing as Phil was the only person he was close to, Phil was the only person he really wanted to tell.

But he couldn't.

First of all, there was the thought that he might lose his best friend. People, all his life had made fun of him for liking guys so what if he told Phil this and Phil was just like the others? Maybe Phil would hear the words and Dan would lose the one person who made him feel safe and at home.

That wasn't all, of course. That was just a part of it- a small part of it. In reality, he knew Phil. Phil was open-minded and basically loved everyone until someone gave him a reason not to. The real reason Dan couldn't tell Phil he liked guys was that there was a certain guy that Dan was into that Phil probably wouldn't like. It was all there for Dan- the amazingly friendly personality, the beautiful smile, the laugh, those incredible blue eyes, the utmost beautiful perfection of Phil- holy shit, Dan was smitten.

And Dan didn't know what to do.

He couldn't just go up to Phil and talk about this like a normal person because if Phil ended up leaving Dan... In a way, Dan felt that Phil had given Dan a reason to live. Dan has finally found someone who wanted to be with Dan, someone who genuinely liked him. And God, did he need that in his life.

The worst part is that Phil knew something was wrong with Dan. He had asked Dan if he wanted to talk and Dan did. He wanted to tell Phil everything but the risk was too high. And even worse, Phil knew Dan was lying. Phil didn't say anything but it was obvious he was hurt that Dan was lying to him and that hurt Dan.

It was just a mess and Dan knew he needed to fix it. He had been hiding this from Phil for too long and their friendship had been off the whole month. Dan was just so skittish around Phil because he felt like Phil could find out any second. Phil wanted Dan to open up, but he didn't want to push Dan. He knew that Dan would tell him eventually and when he told him it would all be better.

He was right, because after one more week of waiting Dan finally realized that it was time to tell Phil about his internal battle. It was after they had ordered a pizza and Phil was lazily flipping through channels to watch. It was late at night so there was nothing on other than random infomercials. Phil eventually stopped at one, just looking for random background noise- keeping the volume on low.

"Hey, Phil?" Dan said meekly. He could hear his racing heartbeat in his ears- not believing that he was finally opening up to someone.

"Yeah?" Phil asked. And just like that, Dan realized that this wasn't someone, this was Phil. This was his best friend.

"Never mind, actually." He brushed the conversation off for another day. He couldn't lose Phil. He couldn't.

"Are you sure?" Phil asked. And there it was again. His brain telling him on repeat: Phil is your best friend. He would never leave you. "Dan, you can tell me anything." You can tell him anything.