Fluffy Phan One-Shots

Soulmates

Dan always thought that the word soulmate was absolutely stupid. He figured- through a long string of existential crisis'- that a true soulmate couldn't actually be a thing. Where humans came from and having meaning and all of the wonderful stuff that were complicated about humans were always a question for Dan. Once he heard that soulmates were a thing, he realized he had found yet another thing to question.

The whole idea of soulmates- to him- was off. It seemed impossible- every single person in the universe had one person that was their perfect match. To Dan that already made no sense. What happened when someone died? What happened to their soulmate then? What would happen if a person never even met their soulmate at all? Who decided who was with who? Did the stars somehow measure compatibility? Did some God?

The whole idea made Dan groan. And, as if the idea wasn't enough, there was the word alone. Soulmate. Soulmate literally meaning a joint of two beings in more than just a physical form- but a spiritual form. It wasn't just a joint, it was a binding. A connection that it unstoppable and one that could never just... end. Having a soulmate was too... permanent for Dan.

Maybe that was it. Dan always had commitment issues. He never was able to put himself in certain boxes because then that would define him and he couldn't change. Having a soulmate... now that sounded like a commitment.

That all changed when Dan met Phil Lester. He met Phil and holy shit was he head over heels. He couldn't even pinpoint the exact moment that he fell for Phil. At first he thought maybe it was when Phil suggested that they should move in together, but then he realized that he had loved Phil before that. Then he thought it could possibly be when Phil had kissed him for the first time- the first time that Phil's lips had touched Dan's and truly connected- but then he realized that it had been the best kiss he'd ever had because he was in love with Phil. Every single time he thought he figured out when he fell in love with Phil, he remembered a time before that. It seemed that he was born to love Phil- like Phil was always happening around him and he had loved him from the very beginning.

He knew he loved Phil more than life itself. He knew that Phil completed him, but even then, it wasn't until they broke up for a short period of time in 2012 that he realized that Phil was his soulmate.

When he broke up with Phil- even though he thought it was best at the time- he felt like his world had come crumbling down on him. He thought that he and Phil were over, but a few days later, Phil had still walked into Dan's room and comforted him- like any best friend would.

It was at that moment that Dan realized Phil was his soulmate. He didn't even believe in soulmates, but deep down- way deep down- Dan knew that he and Phil were soulmates. He finally realized what a soulmate was. A soulmate wasn't... a deep romantic attraction. It wasn't that feeling Dan always had when they were dating where if he and Phil were separated he felt like he would never love again, it was the feeling of knowing that Phil would always be there for him. It was knowing that Phil wasn't attracted to him in a romantic way or a platonic way- Phil was attracted to him in a spiritual way. In a way that he and Phil couldn't be separated because they were pulled together.

When Dan realized this he thought for sure he would flip shit, but he actually was suddenly calm. In reality, there wasn't anything too deep and terrifying he had to commit to. This wasn't like marriage or some strange paper that claimed that Dan wasn't allowed to leave Phil- it was more like the way a ball responded to gravity.

Sure, there factors that went into the ball dropping. There was the weight of the ball, the height of the drop, how forcefully the ball was being thrown down, what the ball was made of- but no matter what ball or what ground, the ball would always drop because that was how gravity worked.

Dan felt it was the same with soulmates. It didn't matter who you were- boy, girl, neither, both- it didn't matter what you identified as- straight, gay, lesbian, nothing, all- nothing about you in general mattered. Everybody had a soulmate. What people don't realize about soulmates is that it doesn't have to be a big romantic deal.

A soulmate- to Dan at least- was someone that you felt was your match. Whether that match was a best friend, a family member, a lover, it didn't matter. It was just one person that made life better in every way. And just from Phil sticking around after their first (and only) break up solidified that Phil was the person that Dan was going to spend the rest of his life with. He didn't know how he meant it at the time. He didn't know if that meant he was still in love with Phil or not, but he knew that Phil was and always would be his best friend.

A year later, when he managed to get his shit together and finally be with with Phil... he wasn't scared of it. He flat out kissed Phil and told him then and there "you are my soulmate."

Phil wasn't like Dan. Phil was happy- God damn was he happy- but to him the words didn't mean as much. In his mind, everyone had a soulmate. He didn't question how they got there, who picked them, he just knew that everyone had one. He knew from the moment he told Dan he loved him that he had found his soulmate.

Soulmates were strange like that. Some people don't believe in them while some people do. Those that do make up alternate universes where two soulmates would get to know each other and live happily ever after. They might spend all their lives knowing that they were going to find a love so great that that person was going to be their soulmate. Call them romantics, call them unrealistic, but never call them wrong.

They aren't wrong. But they aren't right either. Soulmates are real. But they aren't what many people believe they are. It wasn't two beings that fell in love, it was just two beings that were drawn together. It was just two beings that realized that the world was easier to face together rather than alone.

Dan Howell and Phil Lester are living breathing proof of soulmates. It wasn't because every time Dan got kissed by Phil the weight on his shoulders seemed to get just a little bit lighter, it was because every time Phil did something as much as brushed his shoulder, Dan realized that Phil was real and there and his. It was the fact that- when Dan was with Phil- he was who he wanted to be. He was safe and comfortable and himself. Loving Phil made him love himself and he felt that that was the most important and crazy thing that somebody could make him feel.

Just sitting on the couch, Dan listening to Phil tell him some random story about a viewer who ran into him at the grocery sorry, Dan had to interrupt him and pull him into a tight hug. Phil kept talking for a few moments, but realized Dan hadn't been listening to his story in the first place and just focused on hugging him back.

"What's wrong?" Phil asked curiously. He was more than okay with a hug from Dan, but he was curious about the randomness of the hug. Dan just squeezed him tighter- as tight as he could.

"I love you, that's all." Dan nuzzled his head into Phil's neck, just trying to get close as possible. He felt Phil laugh quietly.

"I can't feel my lungs." He pulled Dan closer, incredibly happy that Dan was in such a happy mood at the moment. Dan loosened his grip, but he didn't move from Phil's arms. "And you call me a dork..." Phil mumbled.

"You are a dork," Dan argued.

"I'm your dork," Phil said- causing Dan to pull away.

"Oh my God, Phil. You're so cheesy." Dan rolled his eyes at Phil and got up from the sofa. Although, the smile on his face was too big for Phil not to notice.

"What? Come on." Dan tried to pull away. "I love you," Phil pouted. Phil grabbed Dan's hand and basically dragged him back down in the sofa next to him. "You're the one who hugged me out of nowhere, that's pretty cheesy," Phil pointed out.

"It's not as cheesy as that dork line you just pulled out of your ass," Dan scoffed.

"Hey," Phil said suddenly. "It's not as cheesy as cheese." Phil started to laugh at his own joke while Dan just narrowed his eyes at Phil- not understanding how Phil found that so funny.

"You're so..." Dan couldn't even think of something to call Phil. The words died on his tongue anyway, because Phil took that pause as a perfect opportunity to give Dan a nice, long kiss.

Dan's brain seemed to melt- completely forgetting what they were arguing about. All he could remember was one thing that he was positive about- Phil was definitely his soulmate.