Darker Shades » afi | ✓

Chapter. 29

THREE WEEKS LATER

Music hummed throughout the apartment, with all the windows open; allowing the slight summer breeze to enter and swarm every inch of the rooms. Brown cardboard boxes beginning to fill up with my possessions, and with every item that entered a box caused a small piece of me died a little.

This wasn't how I pictured my life a few weeks ago, I thought Ashton would be a big part of everything I did, I thought he would be here with me packing his own belonging. I dreamt of us starting a life together in New York, building a home, building a family. Unfortunately dreams are just that, dreams.

A small knock on the door disturbed me from my thoughts"How's the packing going?" Hayley's voice spoke in a concerned tone, as her head popped around the door frame.

Since the whole fiasco with Ashton and I, the girls have been treading a little more lightly with me than they normally would. I didn't mind entirely, but it did make me feel different, as if they were trying to shelter me from the reality of it all.

"It's going" letting out a huge sigh as I throw another pointless item into one of the boxes. I didn't want to tell her my true feelings, how would I even say it? I cant do this anymore, I cant go on with my future and dream job because I'm in love with someone who doesn't support my decisions, but I want to be with him forever and I'm unsure this is the best decision.

"You know he's still in touch with the boys?" she paused, those eyes of hers shifting to avert my gaze. "I wanted to tell you..." she fidgeted on the spot, now looking down at her feet

"It's not like I never knew, they didn't try to hide their friendship at lunch last week!" My words sharp, causing her to look up at me in a panic. "I'm glad he's happy, because I'm dead inside" I fought hard to stop the tears from falling, I obviously didn't mean much to him in the end, 'I love you' doesn't mean much these days.

"Babe please don't cry" she soothed, pulling me into a hug. "I'm sure he's not happy about this either, he loves you" I knew her words were suppose to draw me comfort, but it never. I felt nothing anymore.

"if he loved me Hayley, he would have answered my calls, replied to my texts, emails. But he hasn't. That's not someone who loves me" I pulled myself away from her, my eyes swelling with the urge to break down. But I'm stronger than that.

"I don't know what else to say Ally, I don't know how to make this go away" her voice breaking into a whisper as she began to tear up.

"I'm sorry Hayley, I shouldn't take this out on you, but I can't think straight anymore. I was in a bubble of happiness and love and to have that all taken away, because I want what's best for me. It hurts" my hand outstretched to take hers, an offer of peace and apologies.

"He's upset Ally, wouldn't you feel the same if he told you he was moving away without even asking you to come with him"

I pondered on this for a moment, she was right. I knew she was and I knew he was mad at me. It would take time for him to come round to the idea, but I didn't have long. The job starts next week. My flight leaves in a few days. My new life would begin without him in it.

Suddenly there's a loud knock on the door, and my heart drops and I feel the temperature of my blood rise. Could it be him?

"I'll get it" Hayley looks from the door to me. Before heading to the entrance of the apartment, I didn't know if I could contain myself. It probably wouldn't be him, it would more likely be Calum or Cassie. I never held up much hope.

"Who is it?" I call out into the empty space

"Al come here!" Her voice exclaimed, and it was as if time had slowed. As if the pace at which I walked had been halved and I couldn't reach her fast enough. My socks on the wooden floor almost making me fall in all directions.

"What?!" My eyes widening at the sight on the doorstep.

A bouquet of white roses, beautiful, crisp white in a black box and a small pink envelope with 'Allison' written on it. What was Ashton playing at? The only thing holding the answers was the envelope.

"Open it!" Hayley exclaimed in excitement.

Reaching down I pick up the flowers and envelope. Hayley closed the door behind me as we both sat eagerly on the couch, placing the flowers on the coffee table, my hands grip the envelope tightly. Desperate for something good, something to help my relationship with Ashton.

Tearing open the paper there's a card.

'Im sorry. I love you'