33. Heart to hearts, denials and heartaches

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My heart feels like a thousand pounds of unwanted muscles when I see you with someone else. ~ Logan
~~~

33. Heart to hearts, denials and heartaches

(Logan)

"He is everywhere. Wherever I turn, he is right there, with his stupid toothpaste commercial smile and his stupid dolphins. And Alex is eating out of his oily hands."

"Dolphins are cute." Daniel said as he sat in the table with the streusel Loaf Alex had taken time to pack for him.

"That is mine." Logan grabbed the box of Streusel Loaf and put it aside. "Of course, dolphins are cute. But he is not."

"You were friendly with Chad before, you even liked him. So? I know what changed now. It is Alex."

"No. It is not. And he keeps talking about dolphins and whales and his expedition and Camille is starstruck. But at least Camille is ten. Alex, she looks just as starstruck and it is irritating. First Leo and now this guy. She is so-"

"Man, are you listening to yourself right now?"

"I can hear myself, alright." Logan grumbled as he scowled at his friend.

"Hear, yes, but are you understanding what you are saying? You look so green, Logan."

"Don't start this again. I already had this lecture from Tom and I am tired." Logan rubbed his pounding head. It was torture, listening to people telling him how stupid he was being.

He wasn't stupid. He hadn't been, since his biological mother. He had stopped being stupid. He had learnt to be on his own, to do things in an order and to be versatile, persuasive. He had reached his goal, not by being stupid, but by being extremely smart. And it was maddening to listen to people telling over and over how stupid he was.

"I am sorry, but I really don't know how to make you understand your own feelings. You have to stop being so dense, dude. You need to come to your freaking senses before it is too late. You can't do anything if Alex has already moved on." Daniel said with a frown.

I don't care.

Oh, don't you? You think you can lie to yourself? Do you think the lie will start to sound like truth if you said it over and over again?

"Looks like she has already moved on." Logan grunted as he stared at the apple almond Streusel loaf cake in front of him. It was coated with thick layers of Almonds and pistachios and just thinking about it made his mouth water. The honey brown tinged loaf smelled like roasted almond and the touch of the aroma of cinnamon made him sigh in pleasure. And the taste, oh the taste. Everything Alex made always tasted like sin, but this one was beyond anything.

But still... he hated the fact that Chad had helped Alex with that, that he had laughed with her as she waited for it to be done, that he had helped her cut the almonds and pistachios, that he had seen her with flour on her nose and smile on her lips... It was torture. Pure and simple.

Can you smell that along with cinnamon? That burning smell? Not from the cake. It was that pestering voice. He needed no one else to tell him how stupid he was. This voice was enough.

"Are you going to keep staring at it or eat? If you don't want it, I am happy to take it out of your hand." Daniel said with a smirk.

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