His Appointed Wife

19. Mothers, OSLs and Hot girls

Some of the worst days in my life become almost okay to deal with, when you are with me. That is your magic. - Logan.
~~~

19. Mothers, OSLs and Hot girls

(Logan)

Alex looked at him, her eyes wide with shock and disbelief. Her hands stopped on its way to turn the keys sitting in the ignition as she nervously looked around and she looked like she was trapped in a cage with a hungry lion or something.

He almost wanted to laugh.

He was back from the shock of meeting the woman who gave birth to him, but it left a strange and bitter aftertaste in his mouth that he badly wanted to wash away with something. Anything.

Just looking at her made him feel like he wanted to wash himself off her. Again.

Barbara looked thin, and he was sure she hadn't achieved the fame that she had once desired so much, because he hadn't seen her in any of the movies he had watched. Maybe she acted in some foreign films, but he just didn't care.

Yes, he hated her, but he was also grateful to her. If it wasn't for her, they wouldn't have ever found someone who was a thousand times better mother than her.

"Are you okay?" She asked, as she searched his face with sympathetic eyes. He didn't want sympathy. He hated that look even when he was four.

It wasn't like he had sad, destitute childhood. He only barely remembered this woman. Everything was almost a blur for him, except those pieces of grief and rejection he felt when she left him, left them.

And that is why you can never love anyone.

He hated that it was the truth, but here it was. Staring right at him. The truth of what Barbara had done to them would never leave him no matter how hard he tried.

And it reminded him that love made people weak and vulnerable. Easy to break, like a chinadoll. He didn't want to be broken, not by anyone.

When his mom had walked away, Beth had walked in. Beth walked in, with her big heart, and her all encompassing love. It was love, too, and his father had trusted Beth to never do the same thing, but Logan- he wasn't strong like his father.

Because, before Beth, he had also seen how his father had been, when when his wife had walked away. He had been broken, wrecked and the sorrow in his eyes... If Logan tried hard enough, he could still hear his father sobbing after Emma and Eliza went to school. Logan was four, sometimes he was hungry and so alone, and Logan didn't go to school and he heard everything. He heard every heartbreaking sound coming from his strong daddy and he would curl up in his bed and sob along with his dad. And that was hard to forget.

And then one day, someone had knocked at their door. They had opened, and they had hated the woman standing there. But she hadn't given up on them. She still hadn't.

So maybe love isn't bad.

Maybe. But I know it is not for me.

Why not?

Just because.

Oh, yes. He had seen full, kind, giving love from his mom. Generous and wholehearted. His father had found that kind of love, with Bethany, and Logan still wondered how he could have after his first wife had broken every vow of their marriage, destroyed their family and their trust and walked away with some sleazy director with the dreams of becoming a successful actress --it wasn't that she wanted to be a successful actress that made them hate her, it was the way she chose to make her dream come true.