"Then why are you scared?" I reiterated, shaking my head as I grow more confused. She ran her thumb over the back of my hand for a minute not letting her eyes leave mine. I furrowed my eyebrows for a moment in realization. "Wait... are you scared of me?"
Her eyes instantly looked up to meet mine, as they began to water. I never meant to hurt her, and I definitely didn't want her to feel that way about me. Her eyes softened as she finally looked up at me as she reached up and caressed my cheek. I could see a little guilt in her own eyes as she looked at me.
"Not so much of you." She stated. "I'm scared of what might happen."
"What do you mean?" I questioned again, she looked as though she was afraid to tell me what she was thinking. "Talk to me."
"I'm scared that somethings going to happen." She stated rubbing my cheek with her thumb. "I mean, what if you start drinking again? I can't go through that again."
"I'm not going to do any of that again." I understood what she was talking about now and I didn't blame her for feeling that way. "I made a lot of mistakes in the past, but I'm not going to repeat them."
"What if we go out and someone offers you something?" She stated. "Or if everyone's drinking, or something? I know there's none of that here, I can't control that out there."
"Listen, I understand where this is coming from, I do, but I need you to understand that you don't have to worry about that anymore." I stated as she connected her eyes with mine again. "I'm not going to do anything that would ruin what we have going for us. Honestly, I'm not going to do anything that would ruin what I have going for me right now. I know I have a drug and drinking problem, and I know there are times that are going to be harder than others, but I have to worry about that, not you. I'm not going to get involved with that anymore."
"You say that now." She stated. "But what happens when we fight and you need to take the edge off, or if something bad happens and you feel like you need a drink or some kind of drug?"
"Then I call Demi." I answered honestly. "That's why she's my sponsor and that's what she does. I can't promise you that I'm not going to have setbacks because I don't know what's going to happen, all I know is that I want to be with you. I know I can't do that if I get involved in that stuff again, so I will do my best not to."
"If you get the urge to do anything, will you please talk to me about it." She asked obviously concerned. "I want to be there for you, even if we are fighting, or even if I'm being the problem."
"I promise that I will talk to you." I smiled a little as she became less tense. "I will do whatever it takes to make you comfortable."
"I love you." She smiled a little herself now. "And I really do worry about you."
"I know but you shouldn't have to." I nodded again as she kissed my cheek. "I love you too Lauren, I won't mess that up again."
The brunette looked at me for a moment, her arms hung loosely around my neck as I had my wrapped my arms around her waist. I could tell she was contemplating something as she reached up and tucked another piece of hair behind my ear. She smiled for a second before leaning in a placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"Are you going to Shawn and Camila's release party?" She asked out of the blue.
"Of course." I laughed a little. "I helped produce the song."
"Oh yeah." She giggled a little herself. "You did didn't you?"
"Yeah, why?" I asked intrigued as to why she was asking.
"Let's go together." She responded causing me to furrow my eyebrows. "I know I said I wasn't ready but you're right, I think we should tell people."
"I didn't mean to force you into anything." I respond. "I don't want to make you do anything you're uncomfortable with."
"I know." She giggled a little. "The party's next weekend, I can change my mind if I want to." She shrugged smirking.
"Are you sure about that?" I laughed pushing her backward toward the bed. "I mean I wouldn't wanna get my hopes up for nothing."
"Then don't." She continued to smirk. "I mean that's not my problem." She raised an eyebrow as her knees hit the bed causing her to sit down."
"Maybe I'll make it your problem." I pushed her back so that she was lying down now, holding her arms above her head. "It would be a shame if you were to lead me on like that."
"Maybe." She shrugged still grinning as I traced my hands down to her side stopping at her rib cage.
"I'd have to get pay back." I laughed as I could see she was catching on as a little fear appeared in her eyes.
Before she had time to react I started tickling her sides causing her to squirm to try to get away, I laughed as she let out a small squeal as I continued to tickle her as much as I could.
"Y/N!" She yelled laughing. "Stop!" She squealed as I leaned back allowing her to catch her breath as I laughed.
"I mean if Camila didn't know we were together, she definitely does now." I stated and her jaw dropped as she smacked my arm.
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Lauren's POV
"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Y/N asked as we walked towards the party that Shawn and Camila were throwing to celebrate the release of their new song together.
"What do you mean?" I asked looking towards her as I held onto her hand.
"Are you sure you're ready for people to know about us?" She asked confusing me a little. I thought that this is what she wanted. "I mean we can go to this separately if you aren't ready."
I stopped and pulled her to the side so that we weren't in the way of any other people that might walk by. She looked confused as I reached up and placed my hand on her cheek.
"Y/N I want to do this." I smiled. "I love you and I want everyone to know that we're back together."
"I know but you didn't seem so sure the last time we talked about it." She stated and I could tell that wasn't the only thing she was worried about. "We could wait and do this somewhere that's more private. I mean this is a big event."
"I'm okay with this." I restate looking at her questioningly. "But are you? What are you really worried about."
"Us." She stated looking around before meeting my eyes again. "What if they aren't okay with it? What if they're afraid I'm going to hurt you again or something? I mean I wouldn't blame them if they all said they didn't approve of this."
"Babe." I gave her a reassuring smile. "That's our family, they're going to be happy that we're back together. They know how much we love each other and want us to be happy."
"I know but I mean...." She started but I cut her off by placing my own lips on hers, she was surprised at first but soon kissed me back.
"Don't worry about it." I smiled. "I love you and that's all that matters here."
"You're right." She smiled. "I'm just really nervous."
"Me too." I laughed a little "But I mean we gotta show up right? It's a big night for Camila and Shawn."
"That's for sure." She smirked a little but quickly covered it again. "I mean they're number one on billboard for what the second time together?"
"I don't know." I laughed as we began walking hand in hand toward the venue. "I can't remember if the last one did this well and it definitely didn't come out while they were together."
"It's definitely going to be an interesting night." My girlfriend added as we reached our destination.
Chapter 48
Start from the beginning
