Complex desires

I miss her

Sasori PoV

After Deidara and I came home we saw Itachi sitting in the kitchen looking worried for some reason but at the moment I didn't care... after all I saw that brats bike outside and I realised that I have to still do the project with him and Deidara.

"Where is he, un?" Deidara liked the kid and I didn't know why I mean he is a brat and disrespects his seniors. After Deidara spoke Itachi looked at us as if just realising that we were there.

"Oh he is sick so I put him up in my room." Itachi was talkative today which is unusual and he never lets anyone in his room even his own brother doesn't know how it looks.

"Oh what happened? Is he alright? Yeah?" What is up with these people and worrying for someone that won't even acknowledge our existence? Ok okay he talks to everyone except for me and if he even looks my way it is with disgust and a hint of something else. I just don't understand and I never liked something that I didn't understand.

"Enough about the brat! I am going to my room and no one must disturb me!" I had enough! Today I was surposed to forget what happened but my thoughts kept returning to her! Why must I think of her when she was gone! I will never see her again so why?! Before they could question why I was acting like that I stormed to my room and slammed my door shut.

After some time I heard the front door open and close. I received a message from Deidara that him and Itachi were going out and that when Sakaru wakes up that I must tell him that we will meet again soon. Like I am going to talk to the kid. He is the one bringing up memories of her in the first place! They are to similar! Their looks and even habbits are similar!

I just went and sat on my bed. I pulled out a picture of her it was the only thing I had left of her before the accident. Before I knew it tears were streaming down my face and a quite sob escaped me then another and another until I was sobbing quietly. If only my friends could see me now! The cold hearted bastard crying over a picture of a girl.

"I am so sorry. Didn't mean to leave you alone. I loved you more than you would know. I didn't have a choice it was either I left or I tell you my feelings. But now you are gone because I wasn't there to protect you. I miss you so much. Why did you have to leave and try to find me? I left without a trace so that you couldn't find me. But now I can't find it in me to forgive myself. I heard the news about what happened but I was too late. I miss you more than I want to say. I am so sorry for leaving I never meant to hurt you the way I did. Forgiveness how could I even ask for that after what I did?But it hurts inside and all I want to do is to explain things to you. Why I left everything... But now I can't because you are gone. Yuki I miss you." I cut myself off. I couldn't talk anymore as my thoughts filled with her crying face as I left. I started to sing a song that I wrote.

Let it go, let it go.

You only need the light when its burning low

Let it go, let it go.

You only miss the sun when it starts to snow

And here I’ll stand

And here I’ll stay

You only know you love her when you let her go

Oooh

The cold never bothered me anyway

Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping that one day you’ll make a dream last

But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you’ll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

Don’t let them in

Don’t let them see

Be the good guy you always have to be

Conceal, don’t feel,

Don’t let them know

Well now they know

Let it go, let it go

You only need the light when its burning low

Let it go, let it go.

You only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Cause here I stand,

And here I’ll stay

You only know you love her when you let her go

Oooh

The cold never bothered me anyway, oooh

Let it go,

Let her go

You only need the light when its burning low

You only miss the sun when it starts to snow

You only know you love her when you let her go

Oooh

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feelin’ low

Only hate the road when you’re missing home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And now you know, Woooh

Let it go, let it go

You only need the light when its burning low

Let it go, let it go.

You only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Cause here I stand,

And here I’ll stay

You only know you love her when you let her go, oooh

Doo-do-do-do-do-do-doo

Doo-do-doo

Doo-do-do-do-do-do-doo

Doo-do-doo

Doo-do-do-do-do-do-doo

Doo-do-doo

The cold never bothered me anyway...

After singing I heard someone clapping so I quickly turned to see Sakaru standing there clapping his hands with a smirk on his face. I quickly whipped my tears away and slipped the picture under my covers without him noticing.

"That was quite an impressive song. Who did you write it for?" He sounded impressed but I would not answer him. "Okay fine be like that but just remember if you truly love her tell her." After that he left. I couldn't help but replay the words that he said. If I love her I must tell her... but how do I do that if I don't even know where she is? Will I ever find her again?