BLACK MOON ⍋ Remus Lupin

Chapter TwentyTwo - He Knew.

(I'm having to write this on my phone as my laptop is broken, so sorry if there's any mistakes. Enjoy)

ARTY'S POV
Remus ignored me all day. I tried attracting his eye in multiple classes, and either he wasn't interested in paying notice to those obvious calls for attention or he was too focused on bouncing his quill rhythmically into his ink an obsessive amount of times to notice my stares and awkward smiles.

Something was off. The way he almost strutted around the halls, the boys by his side barely keeping up with his long strides.

At Lunch he polished off, not only his own large plate of food, but Frank and Marlene's left overs. No one seemed perplexed by his sudden change in attitude.

He had picked the skin around his fingernails off red raw; peeling and scratching at the pink skin at any moment he didn't have something to occupy his hands. A few times Alice and Peter swatted his own hands from attacking themselves, but again...no one seemed to see a difference.

Little habits that I hadn't even known I had noticed seemed to be gone.

The way he cracked his neck and rubbed at his shoulders, like clockwork, every half hour. Vanished and replaced by relaxed shoulders and posture my mother would be proud of.

A lop sided shy smile, one that didn't hold much meaning other than feeling content with company was replaced by a straight line and obvious signs he was biting the inside of his cheeks to contain a grin. One that didn't read happy though, almost... like his body was stressed, though his eyes read of someone dangerously relaxed.

I knew a similar look.

Bellatrix had it when she felt on top of the world, after doing something that would make others feel like they should be buried deep beneath it. A glint in her eye, a contained smile, slightly raised eyebrows (as if she knew in herself that she was better than everyone else in the room with her) and restless body. Bouncing, dancing with the wind that threaten to push her down.

I knew a similar look.

Andromeda and I used to call it "The liquid luck of the lost". When you feel like you have nothing to lose from unleashing the madness from within. When there's nothing left that can stop you from feeling untouchable, or at least a moment of confusing the truth of what you have to lose with nothing of importance. The bravery of the lost.

It always comes crashing down though, always. Bellatrix always had an almighty comedown from these moments of "luck" from within. Never puzzling together that each time the consequences to her actions would surface when the fuzz of "liquid luck of the lost" would evaporate from the witches brain.

Unpredictability is something I'm scared of. Fear. Unpredictability, in my experience, never resulted in a scenario that didn't fuel the nightmares.

Remus' behaviour (though not threatening to anyone) was unpredictable and that mad glint in his eye is something I cannot unsee. Fear told me that his comedown is one I don't know how to deal with.

*
Dinner was finally here, lessons over. Robes replaced with knitted jumpers. Students slumping their way with rumbling stomachs to the hall for hot food and drink.

I felt unsettled. Perhaps it was because of Remus but I knew that because the others had such low energy in comparison to how they usually do, that didn't help.

"Honestly, I'm so tired I don't think I'm going to be able to eat" yawned Peter.

"You'll find a way to shove something down your throat Pete" Sirius sleepily laughed, looking just as beat as Peter did. Peter swatted him.