BLACK MOON ⍋ Remus Lupin

Chapter 121- My Reggie.

SIRIUS' POV.

A ringing began in my ears. Lily's cries suddenly sounding muffled or far away. My knees weakened under the weight of my body that felt ten times heavier. I collapsed to the ground, one hand holding the stairs on my way down and the other clenching onto the letter.

My heart beat felt non-existent. I couldn't feel it. Though I knew it was being swallowed by my throat. A throat that felt swollen and irritated, like an allergic reaction rippled through my malfunctioning body.

I felt so cold, my arms and legs shaking violently. Though I began to sweat.

My stomach flipped upside down and what felt like a brutal metal weight pushed down upon it. All of my organs felt as if they had been aggressively shifted inside my fragile skeleton.

Breaking all my bones would hurt less.

My brother.

My Reggie.

Dead.

A sob escaped my parted lips, guttural and muffled by the ringing that persisted in my ears. I felt it come from deep within, deeper than where my stomach was churning.

I felt suffocated by my own throat that threatened to close up entirely on me.

I couldn't see anything but the blurred vision from a pool of layered tears that defied gravity, not falling just growing thicker in my vision.

I felt like screaming the house down. A scream that could rip through my entire body. A scream so deadly that the world would feel my pain.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't even move.

Lily escaped James' restraint and bustled over to me, falling on to the ground where I quietly broke. Holding me tighter than she ever has done before.

James stood completely still, as if he couldn't move either.

"James?" I found myself saying in a whisper, looking up from the scrunched letter in my hand. Tears suddenly falling violently at the movement.

"Sirius. I'm so sorry." James was unfrozen from his spot, falling to his knees next to me.
"I'm so sorry." He repeated over and over again.

Lily moved aside for James to wrap his arms around me, as I began to sob uncontrollably into his shoulder.

"I've got you, pads." James cried.

"He's dead. My brothers dead." The words flew out of my mouth like I was throwing up.

The words only making my cries grow stronger in their volume. Breaking through the swelling of my throat.

"My baby brother." I repeated over and over again as James held me close, stroking my hair in a soothing manner.

My baby brother.

Who I'm never going to see ever again. I had clung onto the hope that one day we'd reunite. Once the wars ended and it was safe to reintroduce myself back into his life.

I dreamt of holding out my hand to him again, as he remembered our secret handshake after all the lost years,

I dreamt I would be able to introduce him to someone special to me one day, that maybe he'd be one of my groomsmen.