BLACK MOON ⍋ Remus Lupin

Chapter SeventyTwo- Almost.

Remus' POV

(Reminder if anything isn't canon or accurate, it's just my spin on things.)

"About time!" James shouted over the crowd of people as both Marlene and I wandered up to a table in the leaky cauldron. As we did most Fridays. It was cheap and people minded their business, and it was always packed on Fridays, meaning there was never a dull moment if you didn't want there to be.

"This one's been spooked." Marlene pointed at me, taking her seat, and picking up the drink Lily had bought for her.

"Go on, tell them." she nudged me.

"I saw Arty. I think." I looked at them all in disbelief, taking my seat and prebought drink also.

"What?!" They all but Marlene said synchronised. Either shocked or confused.

"I mean if it wasn't her, they looked really similar. I'm not sure!" I shrugged. Attempting to seem unbothered, though I did feel slightly haunted.

I glanced around the table, taking in their reactions. It was no big deal right?

Marlene, I had told on the way, her forcing it out of me because I was so quiet. She stopped us dead in our tracks and heavily focused on how I was feeling...which I wasn't so sure of and couldn't give her the conversation she was seeking.

James and Lily started staring at each other, as if they were having a conversation via telepathy. He itched the back of his neck awkwardly and she started biting on her bottom lip.

Peter  looked extremely confused. Had he forgotten who 'Arty' was?

Sirius looked confused also, burrowing his eyebrows together and taking a long sip of his beer.

"What do you mean you're not sure? You didn't speak to her?" He broke the uncomfortable silence.

"That's not even the worst part. She was at the book shop, and he didn't speak to her." Marlene piped up.

They all cringed. Pulling the same face of disappointment with me. I shrugged it off in a 'it is what it is' motion and fell silent again, keeping my gaze on the bubbles that danced in my glass. They all caught on quickly that this was a conversation for another moment, or at least once we all get drunk.

I felt disappointed in myself too for not approaching her, I just didn't want her first impression of me after so many years, to be at work and scruffy. It was like I had to meet her all over again, but I understood the weight of what it would mean to hear her voice this time. I didn't approach her the first time in school with the understanding of what it was going to mean. Our friendship was turbulent and childish and ruined by silly crushes and not being able to make up my mind. She was reactive and struggled understanding what to do with so many feelings and I didn't know what to do with mine. It was an age where I was fuelled by hormones and tried too hard to act as if they didn't control me, but they did. I must have confused her so much and so how dare I just...go and say hi. It didn't feel like the right thing to do, especially if I looked so dishevelled and she looked so radiant.

I don't even know if she'd recognise me and that would sting. I had broken my nose twice since fifth year, once neglecting to fix it with magic. I had several new scars, some healed and some not but none standing out in the same places as before. I've put on weight, not as thin as I was before and I'm much taller. Lily learnt you can fade scars naturally with muggle sun cream (and avoid getting pink skin herself) and she's been forcing me to smother myself in it every summer when she has, meaning I don't really have my freckles anymore either. My voice didn't sound the same. I wasn't the same, point blank.