BLACK MOON ⍋ Remus Lupin

Chapter 137 - The Holidays.

The snow had continuously been thickening for over two weeks. Meaning work was slow for both of us.

I worked in a local cafe, only on Mondays and Wednesdays and with the snow so thick...we had remained closed.

Remus worked in landscaping. Maintaining peoples gardens and fields. The only jobs he had been offered was to shovel the snow off of Mr and Mrs Hargreaves's drive; an elderly couple who couldn't do it themselves.

Money was becoming tight, as both of us are usually paid weekly and with the weather...our last pay cheques we're quickly beginning to become nonexistent.

Thankfully the village community spirit was helping us through our financial anxiety. Many people offering up cheap produce they had grown in their gardens before the snow came in meaning they had to be prematurely harvested. We were beginning to survive off of stews and soups made up from our neighbours homegrown vegetables, as money had to be saved for the bills.

Many people in the village are wealthy. They come from old Muggle money or are farming folk- who tend to do quite well in warmer months to last them through winter.

Our friends had their families to see them through, just in case.

We did not.

Remus' parents were lovely. Though they often struggled themselves, especially in their old age and with the ministry not offering as much pension money to Lyall as they had anticipated.

I obviously didn't have the luxury of financial stability, either.

The money I had inherited had kept me going for a long time, even providing the deposit for our small home; though I knew it wouldn't last me forever and it hasn't.

We were both too full of pride to ask our friends for support too. The thought far too embarrassing, although rationally we knew they wouldn't think twice to help and that we'd pay whatever we owed back.

Our financial worry meant no gifts this year.

Which lead me to crotcheting a poor excuse for socks as a gift at three in the morning, after a failed attempt at sleep.

I couldn't help but continuously be plagued by the idea Peter had put into all of our heads only a short time ago.

What if this was our opportunity to go back?

Sirius never made an appearance, though obviously visiting the Potters and as far as we all knew...he was in the city, being sheltered by old friends.

Old friends that shouldn't have been left in the past at all. People that should simply be called friends.

I started to let the thoughts creep in and develop instead of pushing them aside.

What if all this sneaking around in solitude (despite leaving as a group) has been for nothing? Brewed from paranoia and a complex feeling of twisted fate and importance that didn't truly exist. Perhaps both Sirius and I were delusional for believing we'd be targeted when he was rejected and I was never even sought after. Maybe Narcissa manipulated us into thinking we were in danger, so that she didn't have to feel the pressure of being on both sides anymore?

None of those thoughts seemed out of the realm of possibility.

I scraped passing my O.W.L.S by the skin of my teeth. My claim to fame was that I was expelled from Hogwarts for performing a curse...wrong. I no longer had access to my families privileges or wealth. I wouldn't be seen a bright witch.

I wasn't someone people would go out of their way to find.

Sirius was nothing more than an enigma to outsiders. No one knew much about him other than his aloof extravagance. He passed school, he did well but nothing exceptional and was an introverted character outside of his comfort zone. He also no longer had access to our surnames privileges or wealth.