secret keepers | joshler.

quarante-huit.

Tyler glared at the box on the counter across from him. He did not understand what had compelled him to buy this god forsaken box, but he passed the aisle and before he knew it he had put it on the belt with the rest of his groceries.

Oh, is this for your girlfriend?

The words made Tyler's skin itch and his body feel wrong. He resisted the urge to say he did not have a girlfriend, but a boyfriend who was probably going to dump him if this impulsive buy.... Tyler couldn't even finish the thought because he felt like throwing up. Again. The only thing had he been doing for the last two months.

Tyler was not obviously to anything, especially not with his own body. He had noticed the slight weight gain, his flat stomach bulging a bit and his face filling out more and the throwing up was impossible to miss. Josh had grown worried about the throwing up, but Tyler did not want to go to the doctor's. Not yet. He longed for this to just be a reoccurring sickness, but something deep inside of him knew that was not the case.

The brunet trembled as he opened the box, reading the instructions carefully. His vision was blurring with how scared he was. Please Lord....

The following hour blurred by before Tyler knew it. If you asked him, he could not tell you how he ended up on the floor, arms cradled around his legs as he stared at the box and its contents on the toilet seat across from him.

It had to be wrong... This can't be right.

"Papa?" Tyler looked up at the knock on the door. He was supposed to be watching Olivia... How long had he been in here?

"Yes, peach?" His voice cracked and was so soft that he wondered if the toddler could hear him.

"Can I come in?" He must have made a noise of approval because the little girl shuffled in the room. Jim pushed passed her and pushed himself into Tyler's side, ever diligent to his job. Olivia stood shyly at the door, never having seen Tyler in such a state of distress. He could not see himself, but he could feel the tacky feel of tears on his face and the trembling of his fingers that reached to run through Jim's fur.

"What's that?" Olivia pointed towards the box, but Tyler quickly reached out and grabbed her hand pulling her towards him and lifted her into his lap, her back pressed into his knees. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"Please don't," he whispered, not sure what he was begging from her, but she seemed to understand him and held his neck tighter.

"Is it bad?" She whispered back, cuddled into his neck and just her weight was helping him calm down.

"No, just... let's not tell daddy okay? I'm okay, just need my peach and jimmy," Tyler was afraid of losing this, afraid of losing his family because that stupid box. Stupid, stupid god for nothing lying box.

"Okay," she whispered, cuddling closer to him. Before long she had fallen asleep in his arms and he decided that he had neglected the blood flow to his legs for long enough. With the help of Jim, he got off the floor with Olivia cradled in his arms and carried her out the bathroom. The living room was a mess with her drawing supplies, his heart clenching at the small card wishing him to 'Feel Better' on it.

He carried her upstairs, Jim faithfully at his side to catch him should he need him, and into their bedroom. He placed her down on the bed carefully and quickly made his way back downstairs, Jim still at his heels, and hid the box and its contents. Josh did not need to know, not until Tyler could confirm this nightmare. Once his nightmare was hidden, he made his way back upstairs. Once he got to their room once more, he removed his jeans and switched to sweats. He debated on removing his shirt, but when his fingers brushed the bulge there, he decided it was best to keep it on.

He carefully got into the bed, tucking the blankets around him and Olivia without disturbing her. Jim jumped up to lay between Tyler's legs, head resting on Tyler's stomach. Despite the itchy feeling under his skin, Tyler quickly fell asleep and let his worries fade away for a while.

"Shhh, don't wake up honey," Josh whispered as he got into the bed, wrapping his arms around Tyler from behind and carding his fingers through Olivia's hair. Tyler turned towards his boyfriend, needing to be close to him right now. Thankfully Josh had taken his shirt off so Tyler could bask in feeling his skin. Josh allowed the younger man to bury in his chest and rubbed his head gently.

"Do you feel better?" Josh asked, informing Tyler that he knew about the card Olivia had made him. Tyler shook his head, being honest with his boyfriend even though he couldn't tell him why.

"Don't wanna talk about it Joshie," Tyler whispered, his voice rough and Josh just nodded his head, knowing Tyler didn't call him Joshie often unless he was on his period or had a bad day. He assumed it was the latter.

"That's okay honey, it doesn't have to be okay right now, but it will be one day," Josh whispered, pretending he didn't feel the tears on his chest as he cradled his boyfriend to his chest. Tyler really hoped that Josh was right and this was all a nightmare.

951. deux.