The Torn Sins

Chapter XIX

Cybil POV

She has started a romance.

I am crying now, I feel the tears stream down my cheeks as images of their lips touching, their hands intertwined, soft whispers and warmth flash through my mind. When it is done I turn away from her and stare at the bed covers.

"Cybil-"

"Leave me."

"He wanted to tell you, we both did, but he said it was best to wait until you were better."

"I said get out!" I scream, startling her. Without hesitation she gathers up her things and leaves the room. I am alone again.

A few hours go by before my door creaks open slowly. I have not moved from my spot, I am sinking back into that abyss.

"Cybil," his voice causes a jolt of pain to enter my heart.

"Oh now you come to see me."

"Cybil I'm sorry. I knew that I wouldn't be able to look at your face without blurting out the truth. It was easy to be here when you were depressed, you didn't have your wits about you. Once you started getting better though, I couldn't bear to look at you and keep a secret. We've never lied to each other. "

"Way to go champ, you broke that record," sarcasm rings through my voice.

"I know how frustrating this must be for you, I know it ruins a lot of our plans-."

I turn my glare onto him so quickly it causes him to fall silent. "You think this is about plans? About taking over the kingdom and freeing the humans and making them love you? All of that is child's play Natham! The people will want me regardless of whether or not you're at my side, because I know how to herd sheep. But I...I loved you, you idiot. I loved you with every inch of my being. Sure it wasn't sexual, but I can't help that!"

"What do you mean...you can't help that?"

"Haven't you noticed? I'm asexual Natham. I just don't see people that way, but that doesn't mean I wasn't madly in love with you. Because I was, and obviously you weren't. You didn't feel any of that."

"Oh Cybil, oh god I'm sorry. So incredibly sorry. I didn't know, I didn't think you cared that way so I never let myself...please, please forgive me." He crosses the room now and wraps his arms around me. I let him because I've been craving this feeling for days.

"That seems to be the staple line for men in my life," I mutter and we both share a chuckle. "Does she make you happy?" I whisper after a few seconds.

"She does Cybil, she makes me really happy."

"Yes...she's good at that. Well then Natham if she makes you happy then you have every right to be with her. You don't need my permission or approval. Everyone deserves that kind of happiness. Who am I to try and take it away from you?"

"Thank you Cybil, thank you for understanding. But...what are we going to tell the people?"

"I have no idea, what's been going on out there anyways?" I shiver at the thought of finding out.

"It's crazy; half of the people think your mother is a murderess and the other half are blindly faithful to her. Matrix refuses to tell anyone anything he knows about the murder, he's been letting her tell the story however she wants."

"That's just like him, I'd like to believe his choice to stay silent is intentional, but I know it's because he doesn't know which way he wants to go."

"Has he always been this way?" Natham questions.

"Are you kidding me? Matrix straddles the fence like no one else. His indecisiveness is severe. He just can't make up his mind on where his heart lies," I'm standing now, rising out of bed and stretching my legs.