The Torn Sins

Chapter V

Time flies by, it really does. Days turn to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. Until my bond with Natham has become unbelievable, even Father is surprised by how strongly we cling to each other. Two years pass by, and I've returned fully to my old self. Bold, playful, careless, adventurous...fearless. It was an attribute I once held dear to me, now I'm quite glad to have it back. Father doesn't visit as often now, he feels no need. Natham will take care of me when Father is not around, and on some level I can take care of myself once again. But as a sacred date approaches the vibe of my tower begins to change, it begins to buzz, even the servants are whispering about it.

My birthday.

Every year, a few days before my birthday, Father asks me to come home, and he really means it. He pleads, he begs, he promises me the world and so much more. It's always insanely hard to say no. Last year I cried for hours after he left, Natham said he thought my eyes would bleed. The problem with this year is that I don't think I'll say no.

I want to go home; I want to be me again, a princess again. I want to go outside. I want to ignore the pain and the hatred that surrounds me. And with Natham at my side I think I might just be able to do so. And so at dinner the night before Father is scheduled to arrive, I bring this topic up to Natham. We sit across from each other at the table, pretending that our lives are normal.

"Father will come tomorrow, to ask me to return home," I begin as he cuts into his chicken.

He looks up at me, surprised that this is what I wish to discuss. "Yes, should I take extra precautions? Servants, order all the tissue boxes in the kingdom," he teases and I giggle.

"Natham, this is serious," I scold.

"Oh, is it now? Okay I'm listening," he puts down his fork and knife and gives me his full attention.

"How would you feel about returning?" I question.

He doesn't speak, but his gaze goes blank and his mouth slips open for a moment. After gaining self control he clears his throat, "I'd be very happy Cybil," he admits with a whisper. "I want to see you return home, and get out of this tower. I'd also very much like to actually serve you, in the court. To truly show you the depth of my devotion," he walks over to me and takes my hand in his own. "Are we going home Cybil?"

"I think so," I swallow hard and he gazes at me with so much love. He swoops down and wraps me up in a hug, spinning me around.

"I love you, I truly do!" he exclaims and my laughter fills the room.

The next morning Father arrives bright and early. He knocks upon my door briskly and when I open it he is surprised to see Natham and our small servant staff all standing in my room. "We would like to speak to you sir," I begin. "Please sit," I direct him towards the chair we have sat out for him and very slowly he walks over to the chair and sits down.

"What's going on?" he questions.

"Well, I've given your offer some thought," I explain.

"I haven't made it yet!"

"Don't interrupt."

"Cybil, just let me try to convince you before you shut me down again," he pleads.

"And I will return home."

"Wait...what?!" he shoots up and grabs me by my arms. "Say it again."

"I will return home," I smile brightly at him as tears stream down his cheeks and he wraps his arms around me.

"Yes, finally! Thank you. Natham, come here boy!" Natham walks over to us and is engulfed in the hug as well. The staff clap in celebration and although I am happy for this change, a strong amount of fear begins to swirl in my stomach.

The hours pass as we load all of our belongings onto the back of Father's giant carriage. He brings it whenever he makes this huge proposal for me to leave. This is also the only day during the year Mother actually allows him to visit. Part of me can't wait to see the look on her face when I walk in her front door. She never expected me to return. She assumed she had broken me. But now I am returning, and I'm coming back with a vengeance. The Castle will be mine. I've got a plan. And sure, maybe Father and Natham don't know about it yet, but it's there, morphing deep inside of me.

As I stand in the hallway of my sacred tower I gaze back, in deep appreciation. For the past seven years it has protected me, kept me away from the pain. Now I must go face it. Natham walks up next to me and holds out his hand. I take it and open the front door.

The wind whips against my face and I breathe it in, oh how long has it been since I've felt a breeze. The light seeps in through the open door and I blink a few times before pulling out the sunglasses my father has given me and placing them over my eyes. Stepping outside my feet connect with the grass for the first time in years. I wiggle my bare toes between the green strands and let out a luxurious sigh. As I close the door behind me and step forward towards the carriage the truth settles within me...everything will change.