The Torn Sins

Chapter X

As I stand at my bedroom window, staring out into the foliage down below, I feel a faint memory whisper through my mind. I had been quite young when Matrix had set the castle garden's on fire, too young to remember every vivid detail. But I do know that upon that night, I felt an admiration unlike any other stir in my soul for my brother. That admiration would continue to haunt me for years to come.

I had always wanted to be like Matrix, wild, fierce and disobedient, but I'd never had the guts. I was the perfect Princess, willing to stand up to everyone except my parents. I had to be perfect, for one day...I was destined to rule. I could not afford the luxuries my brother was living with, the ability to do whatever he pleased because he was not a direct representation of the throne.

I'd been quite jealous of his freedom for awhile too, at least a full year of anger and being snarky, until finally he'd pulled me to the side and put me in my place. I'd been going off on him something good when he'd dragged me outside and thrown me into the pond behind the castle. A smile touches my lips as the memory plays across my mind. I had been livid. I can still remember the sound of his cocky voice.

"You've been an arrogant bitch to me for months now. I don't know what's gotten into you, but you obviously needed to be cooled off," he snapped and my eyes narrowed in determination as I tromped my way through the pond water towards him. "Go on, say what's on your mind."

"What's on my mind?! Fine, I'll tell you, you no good cur!" he had gasped at my foul language, and it had caused me to pause until I noticed the amusement twinkling in his eyes. He thought my anger was funny?! "You get to do whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want, all because you denounced your claim to the throne. I get a good lashing of the tongue if I so much as hold a fork wrong. And now you get to travel overseas and visit other vampire countries while I'm stuck here! I can never leave because I'm next in line for the throne. You shoved your responsibility down my throat as soon as I was born practically."

"You were at least three to four summers Cybil."

"A babe! I didn't know what you were thrusting upon me, I don't want this, I don't want any of it!" I cried out, tears streaming down my cheeks as the realization dawned upon me as I spoke it aloud. When the sobs began wracking my body, I felt my brother's arms engulf me in his warm and strong hug.

"Then leave with me," he whispered.

I should have.

I should have left with Matrix that year and ran away with him. But instead, I had begged him to stay with me a little while longer, and in doing so, doomed the both of us. My Sight took over, and he ran away before he could see what was to become of his beloved sister.

I am not sure why my brain is revisiting such depressing thoughts, perhaps because I am about to partake in something so incredibly sad. Turning around, I look at Natham for the first time in an hour. Earlier, my insanity had reared it's ugly head, surprising the both of us. I had thought it remained back in my tower, but now I see it has followed me here.

Natham has been quiet since our argument, merely reading a book upon my bed. But as he feels my gaze upon him, he looks up with questioning eyes.

"It is time," I explain.

"Oh...okay," he stands and makes his way towards the door. I follow and allow him to pull it open for me. We both pause when we see Darcy standing on the other side, relaxing against the wall.

"What are you doing here?" I question the vampire.

"Guarding the two of you, Mi'lady Princess," he muses and I look at Natham who merely shrugs in response.

"Alright then, well...we're leaving, to the gardens. You may join us," I close the door behind me and Darcy gives me that boyish grin that causes my heart to stutter.

"Thank you, Mi'la-"

"Call me Cybil, please Darcy. If you are going to be around as often as Natham is, then I cannot deal with you using that title," I deadpan and he nods after a brief moment of hesitation.

"Cybil...alright," he tests the name out on his tongue and I reward him with one of my own breathtaking smiles. I watch as a slight blush adorns his cheeks and he looks away from me quickly. This vampire is strange to me, with the looks and actions of a boy, but the intellect and intelligence of a man. He is a mixture of innocence and skill, Father chose well.

The three of us make our way to the gardens, and I am grateful to see that my court is there, on time. All four of my ladies are present, looking beautiful, yet concerned. And the gents are present as well. I did not start off as a Princess with gentlemen in her court, in fact...these two men became my own when my brother abandoned them at the age of ten, denouncing his throne. They were always close to him though, even after that mishap.

But once I had fallen ill, their attachment to me had grown immeasurably, and I couldn't imagine life without Tristan and Davin. Looking over at the two of them now I smile.

"I thank you all for being here, you are going to witness the rebirth of this glorious man," I gesture towards Natham and notice the tears glistening in Antoinette's eyes. "If any of you have any words to say before I begin, speak now."

All is silent and then Antoinette speaks, "It may not work," she mumbles.

"What?" I question.

"Antoinette, don't," Natham growls and I look at him in surprise.

"Have you...have you kept secrets from me?" I hiss out suddenly and he shakes his head quickly.

"Cybil, calm down, it's not what you think I can promise you that."

"What is it then? What is she talking about?" I question, looking between the two of them but neither one of them answer. "Dammit Natham, don't make me lose my temper in front of my court."

"Why not?! Because you don't want them to know how I fight you back? Because you don't want them to recognize just how equal we are?! You say we are equals and yet you're not willing to make me one of your own, if we are equal then sire me!"

My eyes go dark, anger surging through me. The entire point of me being here is to prove that humans are equal to vampires in their natural state. Now he's going against that structure. Well fine, if he wants to be a vampire so fucking bad!

I stride towards him, digging my fangs into his shoulder, causing him to scream out a bit. Good, let him feel some pain, he needs to know just how angry I am. However, as I push my venom into him, the anger starts to fade and it is replaced by pure love as visions of Natham and I together start to race through my mind. He clings to my body tightly, his hands down at my waist as I drink from him, taking out the old and making it new. It is a beautiful moment, and a pride I've never known stirs through me as I sire someone for the first time.

Then, his body jerks, taking that thought away from me just as quickly as it had come. Panic rises up in me as he pulls away and begins to tremble violently. "Natham, what's wrong?!" I question quickly and then to almost everyone's shock he doubles over and proceeds to vomit. Within the mixture of food and bile unmistakably resides my venom, smoke rising up from the puddle as the poison evaporates into the ground.

Realization dawns on me as I look up at Natham with wide eyes. "That's...that's impossible," I whisper.