Spark in the Dark

Chapter 67

Juice had sat in the same spot he was in the last time they were on the roof together. Shawn had to pass him to sit down herself. They sat in silence for a minute before Juice spoke up.

"Are we okay?"

"You're asking me?" Shawn asked him. "You're the one who's acting weird. Why didn't you tell me Bobby's getting out? Or that Opie was coming home?"

"I don't know," Juice lied, but Shawn didn't buy it.

"Really?" Shawn said skeptically. "This has been going on ever since Chibs found out about us."

"I already told you, he's fine with it."

"Then what is it, Juice?"

"He is fine with it, ok? He's just worried I'm going to get hurt and the more I think about it, the more I wonder if I'm getting set up for that, too."

His words cut Shawn deep. "So you think that not only am I going to hurt you, but that I'm going to do it on purpose?"

"Why don't you want to tell anyone?"

"Haven't we been over this?"

"Right, because of Opie. Well, he's back, so now what?"

"Have you talked to him? I have and it only took me about 15 seconds to see that he is still a wreck."

"Is that really it? Or are you embarrassed to be with me?" Juice asked.

"Of course not. I think you're overthinking this."

"Or you're underthinking it. Is this really about Opie? Or is something else bothering you?"

Shawn didn't know what to say. She looked down at her hands and began to twist a ring she had on her finger. "I'm not trying to hurt you."

"But there is something bothering you, isn't there?" Juice asked.

"How did this get turned around onto me? I'm not acting weird, you are," Shawn said defensively. "This really isn't the best place to be talking about this anyway."

She stood to leave, but Juice grabbed her arm.

"Shawn-"

She pulled her arm from his grasp and went down the ladder, back into the clubhouse. Shawn walked outside and was heading for her car to leave when another car pulled in and stopped. Bobby got out and everyone cheered. She turned to look at them and saw Juice just a few feet behind her. He had tried to follow her and catch up to her, but the car was now in between them. He looked at her for a moment before turning his attention to Bobby. Shawn looked down at her feet, trying to keep her composure, but a voice broke her concentration.

"Miss Trager." Shawn looked up and saw Agent Stahl standing by the car Bobby had gotten out of. "Fancy seeing you here. It's been awhile. How are you? You gain some weight?"

"Wow," Shawn laughed and shook her head. She stepped closer to Stahl. "You should have told me you like getting hit. I would have hit you harder. Saved Otto the trouble."

Shawn turned and walked away. Stahl called after her. "Have a good night, Shawn."

She responded by holding up her middle finger over her shoulder.

Juice had watched the confrontation, even though the music was so loud at the party he hadn't been able to hear what they were saying. Stahl got back into her car and it backed out of TM. Shawn's car passed them a minute later. Juice had half a mind to jump on his bike and follow her, but if Stahl pissed her off more than he knew he already had, it was probably a better idea to let her cool down before finishing their conversation. He instead went back inside to get another beer.

* * *

Shawn's phone woke her up hours later. She cursed at herself for not turning it to silent as she picked it up off her nightstand to see who it was. She was surprised to see Juice's name on the screen, but she probably shouldn't have been. Who else would be calling her at this hour? Putting the phone down, Shawn rolled over to go back to sleep. She then felt guilty for ignoring him and rolled back over to answer it with a sigh.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe," Juice said. She could tell by his voice that he was drunk.

"Hi."

"You still mad at me?"

"You still think I'm setting you up to get hurt?"

"You're still mad," Juice said. "And here I was really hoping you would talk dirty to me."

"Why?"

"Every other guy in this place right now is getting laid, but me."

Tears suddenly came to Shawn's eyes. Juice could have easily found a Cro Eater that night, but instead he had called her. Even when she was mad at him and he was drunk, he stayed faithful to her.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she told him.

"It's like... I know that, but now that the thought is there I can't get it out of my mind."

"So, you distrust me not because of anything I did, but because one of your brothers put an idea in your head."

"Oh, damn. No wonder you don't want to tell them," Juice sighed. "I'm an idiot."

"No, you're not. That's not it at all."

"Then what?"

"I guess Donna's death just messed me up more than I thought. I just keep thinking about those kids having to grow up without their mom and it reminds me of my own mom and-," Shawn stopped herself as her eyes filled with tears, again.

"Shit. I'm an insensitive prick. How the hell didn't I figure that out on my own?"

"It's okay. I'm okay. I just need sometime to work my shit out, alright? Look, why don't you get some sleep? I think you might be too drunk for this conversation. I'll talk to you in the morning when you're sober."

"No," Juice complained. "If I can't be with my girl I at least want to hear her voice."

"Really? You sound like you're about to pass out to me."

"Stay on the phone 'til I fall asleep?" Juice asked sleepily.

"Sure," Shawn said with a smile. "What do you want me to talk about?"

"Tell me you love me," Juice requested.

"I do. I love you. And I promise we will tell people as soon as it feels like the right time, ok? Just keep being patient with me, please?" Juice responded with a snore. Shawn chuckled and shook her head. "Good night, Juice."