Wounds [Bellamy Blake]

In This Moment [Chapter 63]

63

                “Octavia!” It was Lincoln, and I quickly lowered my arrow with a sigh; though the war was not even close to over, at least it had not found us again in this moment.

                “Lincoln!” Octavia exclaimed, throwing her arms around the man. My eyes dashed to Bellamy; he still couldn’t accept them as people. “You’re still here?”

                He nodded, but didn’t have much time to explain; though the Reapers bought us some time to live a few more moments, that war would come to an end, and those who survived would be even more rampant and savage. Not only did they want to kill us, the hundred, but there was no doubt in my mind that they would want to end Lincoln’s life as well. Exile was bad enough. And yet here he was, his heart always with Octavia. He couldn’t leave the woman he loved to die in a war she never asked for.

                “I’m here to take you to the East.” Lincoln said, “I couldn’t go without you.”

                Octavia shook her head, “I can’t leave everyone here to die while I….” She trailed off.

                “Go.” Bellamy said.

                “I won’t leave you.”

                “Octavia, you have to.” Bellamy said.

                The brunette woman looked up at her lover, seeing that there was life and hope with him. Then she turned to her brother and saw the despair and terror that would be with him. A defeated and desperate sigh slipped her lips as she shook her head, clearly not wanting to make this ultimate decision. Bellamy turned to his little sister and smiled upon her beautiful face.

                “I told you that my life ended when you were born.” Bellamy shook his head, “Truth is, it didn’t start until that day.”

                “I love you, big brother.” She said as Lincoln tucked his arms underneath her body, lifting her gently.

                From the ground, I looked up at them, and Lincoln’s eyes remained on mine. “Ava, you come too.”

                “No.” I shook my head, “I-I’m not wounded.”

                For the first time in my entire life I was not wounded any more. Though I had lost a finger, and I was bruised, my physical wounds were nothing to fear. Nothing was life threatening. On a deeper, more psychological level, I was finally healed. Earth had thrown a million different obstacles at me from acid fog to Bellamy Blake himself. Truth was, it was Bellamy who had healed all my past wounds. Though he had caused some on the way, I would always remember that he had come back to heal all of them.

                “You should go with them…” Bellamy said suddenly, his voice shallow.

                “Bellamy, I can’t leave you.” I argued, “Not after everything I’ve been through to be with you. I will fight and die by your side.”

                “I need to know, now.” Lincoln said.

                “If you go with her, I will know that she is safe. I trusted my life in your hands, and I trust you with hers. You might be the only person I trust with her.” He said, “If I die here tonight, I will know that you and my sister, the two people I love in this world, are safe.”

                It was an argument that could go on for days, but we didn’t have days. In this moment, the decision had to be made, but I could feel it being made for me by those around me.

                “Lincoln!” Bjorn’s voice gave me chills. He was alive. He was here. This wasn’t happening.

                “She’s deciding.” Lincoln replied to him, wherever he was. I hadn’t looked around because my eyes were trained on Bellamy and nothing else.

                “No, she’s not.” Bellamy said, “Ava, you have to go.”

                “No!” I said, louder than before. “We’ll make it back to the damn drop ship, we’ll hide in there…” I was grasping for ideas.

                “Raven is going to start the ship, blast the Grounders.” He half smiled.

                “And you aren’t in it.”

                “I’ll make it.” He told me.

                “Bell….” I felt a presence behind me, a familiar and heavy hand on my shoulder. Still, I never tore my eyes away from Bellamy.

                “I love you, Ava.” He said, “I promised you that much.”

                I shook my head, but I could feel Bjorn’s grasp on my arm, pulling me back from the only man I had ever loved. It was in that moment that I began to scream, to fight, to cry. Watching Bellamy sitting there, surrounded by danger, all alone, was too much. All my efforts to break free from Bjorn was all for naught; I was useless against his brute strength, even with all the love for Bellamy adding to my strength, I could not break free. Still, all my kicking and screaming caused Bjorn to grab my hips and turn me so that I was no longer facing Bellamy.

                The last look I saw on his face was sadness, despair, and fear. I hated him for letting me go. I hated him for forcing me to leave. But I loved him all the same. When my voice would no longer emit from my lips, and my muscles refused to kick anymore, Bjorn put me down and placed both hands on my shoulders. “Avarice, stop.”

                “Don’t touch me!” I screamed, though my throat protested as I felt raw. “I’m going back!”

                “No!” Bjorn argued, “You’ll die.”

                “I don’t fucking care if I die!”

                “If he survives and finds you dead, he will die inside.”

                I looked up into Bjorn’s blue eyes.

                “I know what it feels like.” He added.

                We had to be a few miles out from the drop ship now, far from the battle, but never far from danger. Lincoln rested Octavia down on the ground, leaning against a tree, and studied her wound. The broken arrow shaft was lodged in deeply, but she would survive. I felt a tightness in my chest; everyone else was fighting for their survival, and I had run away like some coward. I didn’t fear death anymore; I wanted to fight alongside my friends.

                Forced to sit down on the cold, hard ground as Bjorn checked the perimeter, I felt my heart hammering in my chest as if Bellamy were right there. I didn’t get to kiss him one last time, hold his hand, or tell him I loved him. I couldn’t stay here; I had to go back and make sure he was alive. If Raven succeeded in frying the enemy, we could all go back to the drop ship, or better yet, we could all go to the ocean. With Lincoln and Bjorn to show us the way, we could move on from this vile and cruel forest.

                In that moment, it was all I could hold onto as the rest of my hope seeped from my pores.

                In that moment, a rumble like and Earthquake shook the ground.

Currently writing chapter 65. Hoping to keep a chapter ahead at least, but not having a lot of time to write it tough. I do have Wednesday night, all Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday to write though! So I think I will not only be able to write a ton, but also complete this story. :) I know, endings suck, and I still don't know how I want to end this story, but I will come up with something.