Can I please be happy? (Phan)

Alex from Starbucks

{Dan's POV}

I sprinted out of the cab that I took to phil's house and stopped at the door nervously rubbing the back of my neck. knocking on the door in a way that screamed confidence seemed to be my next challenge. My palms were sweaty and my knees were shaking but that door was staring me down just waiting for my next move. So I knocked on the door. As I cringed at how much that showed how nervous I was to meet him I realized if I cant even knock on the door with out nearly passing out, how in the world am I gonna actually talk to him in person.

I then decided enough is enough I needed to snap out of it and strengthen up enough to get through the day with out giving in. So I slapped myself in the face giving a boost of adrenalin, but at the worst timing because just as my hand hit my face I realize that the door was wide open and there was phil standing there staring at me. Way to go Dan, Phil really takes you seriously now! Shut up brain!

I again began to cringe at what just happened until I found myself engulfed in the warmth of Phil's unexpected hug. "Dan, what was that?" I heard Phil say rather concerned, breaking the over all bliss of the hug as I could tell from the tone of his voice that I was hugging him for longer than he had expected me to. Awkward...

"Um.. It was a bug." I managed to squeeze that horrible response out of my mouth. It didn't help that my voice also cracked. Dan can you quit messing up! I though I told you to shut up brain! Just doing my job. Well your doing terrible brain!

"Sure..." Phil remarked. It was soothing to see him joke in front of me even though I was so obviously nervous. He squeezed me one last time before he let me go and lead me into his house. I was shocked to see what it looked like. It wasn't what you would think, it looked like the hotel from the shinning. I was expecting a fun looking house with obscure Ikea furniture and colorful things everywhere in an otherwise empty and boring room. You know the type of house you would expect someone like phil to be raised in. But I was met with the complete opposite.

"Phil, how do you manage being in this house without your parents home?" I questioned with a small giggle after to let him know I was still comfortable.

"Im 22 now, I believe I can manage fighting off a couple of ghosts if needed" he then gave me a half smile that blew me away.

"Ok then" I chuckled cause we all know Phil is no Thor when it comes to these types of things.

We then came into the living room and sat down on an old couch right next to each other with phil's hand almost touching my knee. Could he tell that I was shaking?

{Phil's POV}

Was Dan shaking? Was he uncomfortable? I was trying so hard to keep my composure in front of him. This was my only first impression I was given so I had to nail it. So I sat down on the couch right next to him and placed my hand on my knee hoping he didn't notice my nervousness. And a few seconds later I worked up the courage and put my hand on his knee attempting to calm him down.

"Dan, are you ok? Are you gonna have a stroke?" I chuckled, as this was a stupid question. I am so awkward.

"Well I wanted to ask you something, you seem have more experience in this field." I started.

"Go ahead ask me anything!" He looked clam now and he was able to look straight in my eyes and I stared back at his. So beautiful, like slowly melting milk chocolate, so pure. I was ready to lean in and kiss him and just end the conversation right there but i resisted the urge looked away and continued.

"Right, well um this girl. I was dating a girl and her name was Willow. I loved her. I really did love her. I know you remember how I used to talk about her a lot. Well I broke up with her. And that was because I love someone else. But the thing is that someone else happens to be a guy. Its ok if your mad at me or disgusted and everythi-"

I was interrupted by dan placing his hand on my arm. "Phil, it's ok. Who is he?" Darn, what am I gonna say now? I cant just tell him that the person I fell in love with was him.

"His name is Alex" nice one Phil! "He works at the Starbucks I used to go to." Ok maybe that went too far...

"Oo! Tell me more!" Dan said with a smile as he turned towards me eagerly. He looked almost like a little school girl. I couldn't tell him so quickly so i guess that meant another lie.

"Um, well he's got dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He is always tan some how and he is just as tall as I am. He has a perfect personality. Almost anyone could love his personality." I immediately regretted what I had said. I wanted to describe the perfect boyfriend, and I ended up describing Dan. I sat and waited hoping he wouldn't notice.

{Dan's POV}

Wow that person Phil was describing sure seemed great. A lot better than me. I tried to hide my disappointment as he described him as he was sitting right where I was. Maybe his mind trailed of and imagined me as that Alex person. Oh how I envied Alex. I would do anything to get Phil to love me.

After a minute of awkward silence, just waiting for Phil to finish imagining Alex, I finally said "You should introduce me to him sometime! And by the way, I'm glad that you trust me enough to tell me your secret." I barely finished the statement when I felt Phil's arm wrap around my waist pulling me close to him. I liked that. After only knowing him through a screen or a phone I was glad he was comfortable hugging me like that on the first day. I wonder if he hugged Alex that much. I decided not to care at that moment and just enjoyed Phil's warmth and company. It soothed me like a warm drink on a winters day.

Hi there! I haven't gotten to many reads so far, but that's ok because I still love to write. I don't mind at all right now. :) I hope anyone reading has a great day! :)