Can I please be happy? (Phan)

Authors note

Hi. I am really sorry but I have to take a break for a little while.

My health is terrible. I hate myself and so many other people hate me. I can't take it any longer.

I can't take this being alone and I can't take this constant feeling like I'm a monster. I feel attacked for nothing and I feel like I have been standing on the sidelines of my own life and I have been a carpet for people to walk on.

I need a break before I shut down completely again.

I feel like if there was a way to give up completely on everything but this, I would give up. I can't take how people treat me anymore. I have been banished to a corner for someone else's mistake and I will be yelled at if I try to get out of this corner or if I show weakness. It is 5 against one and there is no one to help me. Not even a parent or teacher. I know this because I have pulled out all of the stops.

I don't think anyone should feel like this. I don't want anyone to feel alone and isolated. I don't want anyone to feel like there is no one to help them and there's no way out, and I don't want anyone to feel this attacked. I don't want anyone to contemplate going mute and I don't want anyone to think this much about death. I hope that no one feels this terrible.

But please don't worry. I will be okay. I will post a new chapter in a couple of weeks and it will be all fluff. I just didn't want to make it now because I feel like if I did write anything, it would be really terribly depressing and no one wants that. :)

So I hope y'all are happy. I really want you guys to feel really wonderful. I want you to know that I love you all and I always will. So never ever feel like no one likes you. :)

If you ever need to talk about anything please talk to me or someone else because bottling up emotions is not good.

Have a good day. I'm sorry for the non- chapter.