Beginning & End

Chapter 32

Finn's POV

It's been about 2 weeks since Rachel gave birth to Chelsea, and it's been one week since Chelsea Michele Hudson passed away.

Since she was premature and in car accident which injured her, her body didn't work properly.
I've never seen Rachel this depressed about anything. When we first found out, she cried herself to sleep.

"She was that one thing that I could make that would be perfect, and she died." That's been the only thing Rachel has said this week.

Yesterday, I put my first child in the ground. No parent should ever do that, Rachel barely could.
Her stone read:

Chelsea Michele Hudson
September 2nd 2014 - September 9th 2014
Forever missed and loved

Today, Rachel would be discharged from the hospital. She still hasn't talked much and I honestly don't know if she'll ever be the same.

"Ready to go home?" I ask while holding my hand out, waiting for her to accept it.

She nods and lightly takes it as we walk to our car.
The ride home was silent, as excepted.

Once we were inside, I told her to sit on the couch and just rest. She quietly followed my directions as I went back to the car to get her things from the hospital.

When I came back into the house, she wasn't in her same spot.

"Rachel?" I call out.

I hear a whimpering coming from somewhere. I follow the noise into the lavender nursery to find Rachel on the floor crying harder than I'd ever seen before.

I get down in the same position she's in so I can cradle her. Her whole body is shaking violently and I can't do anything to stop her. The only thing that I can think of doing, is crying with her.

I hug her tightly and cry.

"I never even got to hold her..." She sobs into my chest.

"I'll never see her take her first steps. I'll never hear her say her first words. I'll never be able to take her to her first day of school. What did we do wrong to deserve this, Finn?" I barely understood what she was saying because she was starting to choke.

"We didn't do anything wrong, Rach. We just had to go through a terrible loss and that happened to be her. This is not your fault, it never will be. Okay?"

She nods but doesn't stop crying. I pull her entire body onto my lap so that I have a better hold on her.

The next few hours consisted of us crying, holding each other, and sleeping on the nursery floor.
I woke up and saw it was starting to get late. I took a tired Rachel to our bed and wrapped blankets around her.

I then get into the bed and pull her close to me, not letting go. I don't think I can ever let her go.

"Thank you, Finn." I hear her faintly whisper.

I kiss her cheek and fall asleep with skin crawling nightmares.