The Love Inside

Untitled Part 26

One month is how long I've been on this portable coffin called a tour bus. I have no fucking idea how these guys went as long as they did in a van. I'm so sick of being on this fucking thing. I feel like a caged animal.

On top of feeling closed in, these guys are driving me insane. I watched as Joey slipped back into his hard drinking once again. Paul took up drinking instead of drugs. Sid is drinking like a fucking fish too. That is all they have done for the last month.

When you have nine guys on one bus, along with never ending alchohol, and all the shitty things that have happened in their lives, you get what I call a living hell. They are drunk, pissed at each other about something, or acting just...odd.

These are not the same guys I left with a month ago. Sid has been a royal dick lately, and so has everyone else.

Once again, they are partying their asses off after the show. I'm so fucking exhausted, I just want to sleep. That is not going to happen anytime soon. Loud music is booming through the bus, along with loud voices.

I sat in the bunk that Sid and I share, wanting to go home. I'm so sick of this shit. Today, Sid told me I was being a bitch. Yep. He honestly said that. I haven't said a word to him since this morning. I even stayed on the bus tonight, instead of going to see them play.

Picking up my laptop, I started looking at flights to get back home to Iowa. We are currently in Idaho. I don't even care how much it costs at this point. I want out of here.

As I sat looking online to see where or when I could get on a flight, Sid stumbled up to the bunk. I glanced at him, and he flopped down on the bunk. I shut the laptop, and moved out of the bunk.

"Stop being a bitch. Lay down." Sid slurred.

"Fuck off." I growled, getting out of the bunk. He grabbed my arm.

"Let go, Sid." I said impatiently.

"Stop. Just sit." Sid said. I jerked my arm away from him.

"No. I'm leaving as soon as I can." I told him. I saw a flicker of anger in his eyes.

"What?" He asked, sitting up slowly.

"I'm going home." I told him. I heard the music shut off, and it got quiet.

"Fuck off. No you aren't." Sid laughed.

"Yeah, Sid. I'm done. I don't know who any of you are. And I'm sure as fuck not going to have you call me a bitch." I spat at him.

"Calm the fuck down." Sid snapped.

"No. I've put up with everyone's shit for a month. I can't do this." I told him.

"We put up with your shit all the fucking time." Sid slurred. I heard a quiet gasp from up front.

"You won't anymore." I glared.

"Whatever. Have fun fucking your new boyfriend." Sid smirked.

"You're an asshole." I said, storming off the bus.

I got outside and sat on a picnic table. My feelings are so hurt, I feel like I can't breathe. Sid has never, ever talked to me like that. Wiping my eyes, I heard the bus doors open. I stood up and walked away. There is nothing around here, and I'll be Goddamned if I'm going back on that bus right now.

"Paris! Wait!" Corey called after me.

I sped up, hearing him running behind me. I was about to run, when Corey grabbed my arm.

"Get off of me!" I yelled, shoving him. He let go and held his hands up.

"Slow down a second." Corey said. I turned and kept walking.