Chapter 45

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WARNING- THIS COULD TRIGGER YOU. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED. SUMMARY WILL BE AT THE BOTTOM IN BOLD LETTERS. Also, if you ever want someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Don't be afraid to leave me a PM and I will talk to you. I don't want any of you guys hurt! I love you all! <3 

Zoe Franta

*One Week Later*

I couldn't take it anymore. I am clearly depressed. Depressed about Hayes, Eva, my parents passing away, things going on here now, just everything. I need a way to release my anger. I walked into my bathroom and didn't even bother with the door. I pulled out my razor and hesitated, before dragging the blade across my skin. It hurt really bad, and I screamed out in pain. The pain was soon forgotten and I dragged it across my skin once again. Soon, four more lines were added. That was for each of the boys and the pain I've cost them. I then dragged the blade again. That one was for Eva and losing her as my best friend. The next three were for Hayes. One for being with that jerk, one for believing every word he said, and one for thinking we would ever work out. I then proceeded with my parents. I made two cuts and started for a third when I felt the razor getting ripped out from my grip. I turned around and glared at Kian. 

"Why did you do that? It felt so good!" I yelled at Kian.

"Why would you do this?" Kian asked me, going under the sink to get a first aid kit.

"Because it's obvious I'm a fuck up in everyone's eyes." I said, frowning.

"What are you talking about?" Kian asked, starting to wrap up my bleeding arm.

"Everyone hates me. Connor won't talk to me, Ricky, Jc, and you are so distant, Eva thinks I started this rumor about her and it wasn't me, and..." I trailed off, not wanting to say it. I haven't told anyone that Hayes has broken up with me.

"What? Zoe, what happened?" Kian asked me. 

"Hayes broke up with me." I said, trying to hold in the tears.

Kian's eyes widened for a second, before he looked at me and pulled me into a hug. I sobbed into his shoulder. I really have disappointed everyone, especially my parents. What if they could see me right now? They would be like,"Why is my child acting like this?" It made me cry more just thinking about it.

"You need to tell Connor." Kian finally said. 

"Tell him what?" I said, instantly pulling away from Kian.

"Tell him what you did with this," Kian held up the razor,"And also what Hayes did."

"No! I can't tell him! He'll be even more disappointed in me!" I said, letting a few tears out.

"Then I'm going to tell him." Kian said, getting up. 

"No Kian! Please don't tell him! Please Kian! I will never forgive you if you do." I cried.

"Zoe, this is serious. I'm serious. Connor has the right to know." Kian said. 

"You wouldn't have known if you hadn't come barging into my room!" I snapped. 

Kian sighed, before saying,"I have to tell him."

"If you tell him, I will never forgive you Kian. Never. I swear. I will never forgive you." I said, looking at him seriously.

"It's worth Connor knowing." Kian said, pulling the rest of the razors I had out of my drawer and walked out of my bathroom with them. 

I just sat there and pulled my sleeves down, crying even worse then before. Connor was going to hate me, he will probably get rid of me. Just the thought made me burst into more tears. I went onto Twitter and saw more hate then I usually had, and the reason why was the newest tweet from my ex-best friend.

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