Turn Around - An Adopted By O2L Story

Authors Note: #WeLoveYouConnor

Hey guys. I told you on Instagram that I would make an authors note on here to explain my thoughts on the whole thing with Connor leaving O2L. The main emotions I'm feeling right now, and I will explain why, would definitely be sad, heartbroken, confused, in shock, happy, and angry. 

I am sad because there will no longer be Frantastic Mondays on O2L. I am sad that he had kept six months of sadness inside of him, but most of all, I am sad at how he is not happy. 

I am heartbroken because he is the first YouTuber I have ever watched and it's hard to see him leaving us. It legit hurts my heart that he has been upset and we didn't even realize it. 

I am confused at how I didn't notice something was up with him. I did feel like something was up, but not something this big. How he said he feels like YouTube is a job, a smile can really hide a lot of things, but I never expected it to be that big, which leads to shock. 

I am in shock because of how well he hid the sadness and hurt and all of it. I had to rewatch the video to make sure I heard what he said right. I am shocked at how he is leaving! Just earlier today I was watching their videos and was like,''They will be in O2L forever." Right when I heard him start talking about all of this, I knew it was goodbye from O2L, or else he would have put it on his main channel. 

I am also happy. Connor made the right choice, and is doing what he feels is best. That's all I could ever ask for. I am happy that he will still be doing all of his main channel videos. I am happy that he cares so much about the other boys and doesn't want to hurt the channel by feeling like it's a job. I am happy for him and what he is doing. 

I am also angry. Not at Connor, not at all. I am angry because when I went on Twitter, I saw people changing their bios to 0/5 or whatever their number was. CONNOR IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE A PART OF O2L! I unfollowed those people and I want to block them too. I am also angry with myself that I didn't take notice that he wasn't unhappy. It hurts me so much knowing this. 

I have been retweeting tweets about all of the love we are sending to Connor, because he needs it right now. Imagine how he feels right now, knowing that we have seen his video about this? He is probably just as sad as us, which is why we need to support him through this desicion. It is his life, not ours, and what he is doing is completely under his control, but it you are a real fan, you will support him and love him. 

Honestly what hurts the most would be that he was hurting for six months and we didn't notice. He was making us happy by keeping that smile on his face for us. I love and respect him so much for that. I knew something was up, but ignored it. His eyes seemed to get duller and duller every month, and he seemed to loose all of his excitememnt that he had in previous videos. I thought it could just be from the tour because he was really tired and whatnot. 

In his last O2L video, the one before A New Chapter, he was basically hinting to us about what was going to happen! We didn't notice it, or notice how unhappy he seemed in the videos before! That's what really hurts, he was hinting to us, and I feel like it was so obvious that he was unhappy. It really does hurt a lot knowing that the one who kept us happy this whole time wasn't happy himself. We weren't there for him like he was for us.

Yes, it's safe to say that we probably all cried watching his last video for O2L, but guys, please remember, THIS ISN'T THE END! It's a new beginning for Connor, who knows, maybe after a year or so, he will come back, after everything in his life is better. Nothing is impossible guys! Right now, support and love for him is my number one priority and concern. 

Also remember, he said that this was something he has been trying to do for a little bit now. He sat in front of his camera for a few hours trying to make this video for us! The boys, his family, and his friends all supported him for doing this, and the O2L boys are still family! Forever and always. 

Also guys, please read Ricky's Twitlonger, as it regards the whole thing. It helped me understand a little I guess. 

I love you guys, and remember, we are more than just a fandom, we are a family. That's why the boys start out with what's up O2L, or hey O2L. We are family. 

I guess I will end this now, thanks for reading. 

-b