Free to be

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A father was what you wanted him to be. A father to some was a loving man who tucked you in at night. The man who protects you, a father to some was absence, someone he or she never knew. The man who had drug problems, or that man that sat in jail their whole life. Maybe he was simply no longer there and had passed away.

Maybe a father was simply a creator to some, but a father to all was the man that made you who you were by simply being everything he couldn't. No matter how crummy your father was, he built you to be what you were.

He could be absent, or there, or mean, happy, angry, anything he was he made a mark doing whatever he did. Everyone needed to have a father for one reason or another. Some physically had a father and that made them better or worse. Others never had one and that made them better or worse.

Evan had a father and that made him better, and smarter. He was such a great person because he strived to be everything that Carlo wasn't. That would hopefully pay off in all the ways that he wanted.

Kenny had a father and that drove him to search for acceptance and forgiveness for what he had become. That would make Kenny always unhappy I thought.

Mark had a father whom wasn't a perfect one but he learned to respect him and accept what he was given. He loved his father despite his ugly side. That would make Mark bitter in the end more than likely.

The funny part was to three troubled men he was three totally different people. I didn't know how hard it would be to get over the loss of Carlo for them. I knew they would grieve, each in their own way.

Evan came up behind me putting his arms around me.

"Are you ready to leave?" He asked kissing the side of my face letting out a huge sigh. The kind of sigh that made me believe he was content.

"What's going to happen with Carlo?" I asked not wanting to look at him lay lifeless on the floor. I didn't want the last memory to be of his dead body.

"Kenny will take care of it, let's go." He said pulling me by the hand toward the door. I held tight looking back at Kenny and Ari, he held tight to Ari as he talked on his cell phone. He gave me a look and a small nod in my direction.

It was hard to think you could let go of life that quickly, Carlo was in fact able to give in or give up. In a twisted way, he sacrificed himself to prove to his children that he was capable of acting like a good parent. I was not sure how much of that would be accepted by them, or if they could deal with all that Carlo was in charge of.

How easy would it be for them to be without their Dad? But at the same time, he was thrusting them into the power and control of so much. I wasn't sure they knew what they were getting into. I had no idea what I was getting into. What did this mean for any of us?

I climbed into Evan's car looking back up to Carlo's mansion, and thought about how at one time I saw it as a place of darkness and evil. Now as we drove away slowly it felt like a place that held the key to everyone's release.

I turned to Evan a million thoughts going on in my head.

"What happens now?" I asked eager to hear what he was thinking.

"There's a lot to be talked about. It's not as if we all didn't know that one day this would happen. I mean I knew it would but we all had it in our heads that Carlo would never leave it up to us." He said pulling onto the street.

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