Scattered and Broken, Book 3 of Wingless Series

Effort in trying

I thought some things in life were best left unknown; I didn't want to know what happened with Kenny. I didn't want to know how I had totally blacked out jumping into his car and taking off with him so he could "talk." I was confused why this part was so blurry; I was fine before I went to bed. The whole situation was almost as if once Kenny came in I lost all sense of memory and time.

"Hey there." Evan said coming up the steps to me. He was finally home; it had taken him two days to complete his job. He sat down next to me looking beat but still happy to see me.

"Hi, I missed you." I said as he took my hand in his. He leaned in for a kiss a smile spreading across his face. I felt guilty and overly paranoid.

"Glad that's over." He said with a sigh putting his arm around me and telling me in his way how his day went without really telling me anything at all.

I listened closely trying to erase the night before out of my mind as he spoke. There wasn't much that could erase it; I was ready to burst from holding it in. I didn't like to keep secrets from Evan at all. This was one of them.

I knew Evan would be royally irritated if he found out I was taken against my will by his brother. I knew it would not end well for Kenny, and that was why I weighed my options. I didn't want to open my mouth and say something that I couldn't go back on. Yes, Kenny deserved whatever he had coming to him, but I feared it might be another situation like at Carlo's house. And I liked Kenny and didn't want to see anything bad happen to him.

If I had any idea I might had considered telling Evan, he would be the one person who could figure out what had happened.

"What are you thinking about?" Evan asked breaking my panicked thoughts. I barely could focus in on him and escape all my worries. I blinked hard looking at him.

"Nothing much just tired." I said with a shrug. It was winter and I was sitting outside on the porch, this should have been the first sign to Evan that something was not right.

"Well let's go inside and relax. You can watch the game with me." He said leading me into the house; I nearly tripped on the rug making my way in. Evan eyeballed me starting to catch on more.

"I never asked you how things were while I was gone." He said.

"Fine." I said faintly my heart skipping a beat afraid he knew something. I moved past him to the living room sitting down on the couch.

"Knock knock." Kenny called out coming in the door; I turned to look feeling all the life being sucked out of me as he came in. He chatted with Evan as if nothing was wrong. He didn't seem the least bit bothered by the fact he had taken his brother's girl out. My head was spinning my stomach felt as if a million daggers were stabbing it. I wasn't sure what a nervous breakdown felt like, but I was sure I was close to knowing.

I leaned back on the couch just wishing the whole moment would pass. I didn't know what was more horrible not sharing this information with Evan, or keeping it from him because I felt bad for Kenny. Which one made me look like worse of a person? I wasn't sure I had no one to tell to even help me look at it from every angle.

I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder, my whole body tensing up. It was Evan he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm going to run to the carryout to pick up some beer, do you need anything?" He asked completely unknowing. I wished so bad he knew so he wouldn't leave me alone with Kenny again. I bit my lip shaking my head no watching him head out the door.

"What is the deal, why are you looking so disturbed?" Kenny asked coming into the living room a glass in his hand, his expression was rather amused. I was extremely annoyed by him.

"Why wouldn't I be disturbed, I still have no idea why I was out with you?" I said crossing my arms. I felt dirty as if I had gone behind Evan's back to do who knows what.

"What do you think I could do to you?" He asked in awe.

"I don't know I know you did something because I wouldn't just ride around with you Kenny." I said.

Kenny stared off contemplating something, maybe a good lie to cover up the ugly truth. I knew I would never want to be with Kenny, and I prayed with all I had in me that he hadn't taken advantage of me and did anything against my will. I felt bad for thinking of him like that. But, it was in my mind nonetheless.

"You're getting worked up over nothing; maybe you were just really tired. I don't know you have a lot going on." He said with a simple shrug.

"All I want is a real explanation as to why I would not remember. Maybe I should just tell Evan." I said standing up to wait for Evan to come back.

Kenny came closer sticking his hand out as if to stop me from moving, I moved the curtain to see if he were home yet.

"What do you think Evan will say if you fill him in?" He asked.

"I don't know, maybe he will beat the crap out of you serves you right." I said with a shrug of my own. "I'm trying my best to trust that you wouldn't wrong me, but I don't think I can believe that."

Kenny looked at me appalled. "And why would you not trust me?"

"Because I think you want something from me, your own girlfriend thinks that. I'm not stupid."

"Just because Ari is jealous of I don't know just about anything, doesn't mean you need to be afraid of my intentions. Evan's not afraid of me and you together." He scoffed shaking his head as if it were some sort of joke.

"Then why can't I tell him?" I challenged, he seemed guilty of something.

"Do what you want Eve, I think it's better to leave it alone. If Evan thinks, you're making a big deal about it you know he will too. Do you really hate me that much?" He said staring me down trying to break my decision.

"Fine, but you tell me one thing." I said coming up to Kenny pointing at him.

"What?" He asked curious.

"Did you and I sleep together?" I swallowed regretting even asking. Kenny's expressions seemed to change to resentment. I didn't care I needed to know.

"I'm leaving, you tell Evan I'm sorry I couldn't stick around, make up some sort of excuse." He headed toward the door.

"Just answer my question." I said.

"Do you really need an answer?" He asked nearly yelling at me. "I may do a lot of shitty things but raping women is not one of them. I don't need to rape anyone."

"Fine, but if I ever figure out what happened, and its anything other then what your telling me I will make sure you regret the whole thing." I said walking away.