Bygone-G.D

10

My heart stopped.
I fell back into a chair behind me holding my chest trying to catch my breath. It felt as if someone took all the oxygen out of my body and left me to suffocate. I tried taking deep breaths but they only came out as small wheezes. The doctors rushed to my side thing to calm me down. With them trying to calm me down it made me worse. My heart aches and my body shook violently. I was having a panic attack. I used to have them all the time when my parents died and I had Grayson by my side to help me.

But he's not here anymore.

I was rushed into a room where they put an oxygen mask on me to help me breathe and they also out and IV in my arm to give me fluids because I was apparently dehydrated. They also gave me some medicine to help calm me down. My breathing went back to normal and my eyes started to get heavy. I tried to keep them open but I kept falling further and further into the darkness. Before I fell asleep I felt two hands rest on each side of my arms hearing their soft sobs and 'we love you'.

I woke up to a bright light that burned my eyes and a machine beeping rhythmically. I looked around the room at first and realized where I was. I looked down and noticed I was no longer in my dress but in a hospital gown. Then memories from the previous night came back to haunt me. I shook my head back and forth to prevent any tears from falling.

After a few minutes of staring at the blank wall in front of me Sean and Lisa walked into my room. They both had bags and dark circles under there eyes indicating neither got any sleep. Sean gave me a light smile and Lisa came over to my bedside and hugged me. I took in a deep breath and as I did my breath hitched trying to hold back the sobs.

The same doctors from the other night then walked in and told me I would be discharged within the next few hours. "What about Grayson?" I asked him hardly as a whisper. He stopped and turned to me. Before the doctors could go on about telling us about Grayson I had the panic attack. Lisa and Sean looked at me with sadness filling their eyes. "Uhm right, he's still in the ICU considering the amount of trauma he went through, he also suffered a major brain injury which caused us to go in and stop the bleeding and repair any visible damage. But-" he paused as he took a deep breath. "We're afraid he won't be himself when he wakes up. He also won't have a very good memory." He stopped and looked at me reading the confused expression on my face. "What the hell do you mean 'won't be himself' when he wakes up?" I asked slightly irritated. He sighed and took a seat in one of the chairs next to my bed. "When the train hit the side of the car his head was thrown into the windshield and the car also rolled a couple of times. Grayson passed out the first time his head cane in contact with the windshield causing his head to hit a couple more times as the car rolled. He suffered major damage to the frontal lobe which will cause a change of personality and there was also massive amount of bleeding in the limbic system which will cause the memory loss."

I nodded shortly closing my eyes trying to wrap my head around everything that was happening. "When will he wake up?" I asked still having my eyes closed. "We're not sure as of right now." He said looking down. I put my hands over my face trying to rid of any stress. I looked over to Sean and Lisa to see they were holding back tears from flowing out. We all had a hell of a night and wanted this to all be a dream. But this was a nightmare in reality.

"Can I see him?" I asked my voice shaking. "He nodded his head and brought a wheelchair in to wheel me to Grayson's room. I sat down I. The cold chair while wrapping a blanket over my body to keep some warmth on me. But I wasn't only externally cold I was internally frozen. Frozen from the shock and disbelief of last nights events. We slowly made it to Grayson's room, his being on a completely different area than mine considering he was in ICU. We got to his door and it opened slightly. When we saw him laying on the bed my body became numb. He was hooked up with many different wires and machines. He had a tube going down his throat putting oxygen in his body. His face was swollen and beaten from the accident. He didn't even look like my Grayson anymore. My warm tears fell down my face as I looked at how awful he looked. He had his head wrapped thick with bandages and his leg was in a full cast up to his thigh. Scratches filled his arms and face. I couldn't bare to look at him but I made my way to the side of his head and grabbed his hand. I shuddered at the feeling of it being cold. It's as if he were dead already. "I'm so sorry baby." I said as I held his hand tightly and laid my head in the side of his bed. I began sobbing uncontrollably my body's shaking violently and my shoulders bouncing. Everyone left the room leaving me alone with Grayson. "Gray baby I love you so much, I need you to fucking fight, I can't loose you to I have nobody else to comfort me in this hell. I can't bear the thought of loosing you, please come back to me baby please." I begged in between cries. I looked over to his side table noticing his belonging set in a bag. His gray shirt covered in blood, but not only his also Ethan's. I shook the remembrance of seeing Ethan being out into the ambulance with a blanket draped over his face out of my head as I reached for the bag. His clothes were shredded to pieces and had bits of glass from the windows. I found his wallet and opened it finding a picture of me and him at the beach together. I was on his back smiling from ear to ear and he was looking back to me laughing. I smiled at the thought of that day. And how everything was perfect. I looked at the bottom of the bag and noticed a small red box. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion as I picked it up. When I opened it tears immediately began falling again as I saw the most beautiful ring.

I looked over to Grayson and smiled at him through tears.

"Yes."