You Can't Break Her

Chapter ten | June

Age 10

June 2000
School
Bayhollow, Ontario

I was between friend groups at this age. Being harassed and bullied at school, causing a further mistrust in others.

"Why did you get to leave school for an hour today?" Margot asked snidely.

I pulled on the frayed edges of my notebook, avoiding eye contact. "I had a meeting with my counsellor."

Her eyes widened, slimming out as she snickered. "What are you seeing a counsellor for? Are you crazy?"

I watched her turn back to laugh with the classmates who sat around her. Clearing my throat, I interrupted them. "No. I was taken from my mom."

It wasn't as easy for them to turn back laughing this time but Margot wasn't finished.

Margot's demeanour changed, a smile graced her lips as she spoke. "Did you hear Erik wanted to ask you out? He's just really shy."

I didn't recognize any difference in her, I had become so willing to accept that body language meant nothing.

"What are you kidding? That's so funny." I blushed, hiding my face behind my book.

Her smile grew. "I'll tell him you're interested. Meet him at the park after school."

I waited for the end of the day like it would set me free. Leaving the school to find a young man I barely knew at the park. How far I had come from the young girl who feared everything. I packed my bag when class ended nearly dropping my things.

Walking out of the front doors of the school, head held high. Sauntering across the street to the park, my nerves made me overthink. "What if she was lying? You're being set up. Don't go to the park."

Shushing my negative inner thoughts, I reasoned my paranoia away. "What if he is there? It would be mean to not go. I'll go but not stay long."

Despite my personal pep talk, I was still nervous and uncertain of what I was stepping into. Sitting down on a bench near the opening of the park, I waited for a half hour before I saw anyone.

Margot, along with multiple students from class. As they approached I spotted Erik in the back of the pack, staring at the ground, no emotion on his face.

"I didn't think you were coming." Taking a step forward, I saw no change in him. Something was wrong, I was alone with no one to save me from the vultures that picked at my humiliated being.

"You didn't really think he wanted to hang out with you, did you?" Margot laughed with her friends.

I stood across from them wishing I was stronger. I wanted so badly to hurt them in some way.

She continued, "That's so pathetic. If you were smart you would have known he'd never be seen with you."

Crying as I left the park they were not tears of sadness but of frustration with myself for not hurting them. Watching their amusement over my belief in others made me think that much less of people.