You Can't Break Her

Chapter fifteen: part seven | April

April 2005
Bayhollow, Ontario

Annie skipped along the path toward me. Her dirty blonde hair was tied on top of her head with dyed strands poking out of the bun. A shine of happiness in her baby blue eyes and a smile across her face, like she didn't have a care in the world.

"What's up? Why are you so smiley?" I questioned her as she got closer. She was rarely happy unless she was in a relationship. I knew the answer to my questions.

"Oh, you know... I met a guy this weekend, we're dating," She lept up and down while holding my hands.

The pleasure in her facial expression made me cringe. Why couldn't I find a guy? All of my friends were traipsing around with butt-heads that pretended to know how a 'grown man' should act. I was left to watch them grope and slobber all over each other. It was a pretty nasty experience being the third wheel. Seriously, get a room.

I shook off the feeling of resentment for the moment, I could be happy for my friend. Some of them did take care of me when I was stumblebum drunk at the parties we went to almost every weekend. My jealousy would have to take a back seat to my friend's happiness. Maybe her new boyfriend had friend's.

My mind wandered to thoughts of a tall guy with sexy dark hair, like Orlando bloom. He would sweep me off my feet, kissing me so deeply that nothing else mattered. Holding me so tight that my heartache might dull for a moment.

The next day

I took the back street to the Private Military quarters (PMQ's), grass whipped at my ankles as I walked across the field. The lights were on at Anthony's house. I had planned to stop by and see what he was up to. Maybe he wanted to hang out.

It was a beautiful evening in Bayhollow. Spring was almost at a close. The weather was gross most days but not today. Outdoor conditions never stopped me from making a mad dash for the door as soon as my feet hit the ground in the morning.

The guys that lived next door, exited Anthony's house. We met up on the walkway between the units.

"You're late, mom already made lunch." They pointed out.

'Mom' was the nickname affectionately given to Anthony's mother by every kid in the neighborhood. They all hung out at her house, and she treated every person who entered like her own child.

"I'm not here to eat their food. I'm meeting up with Annie." I remarked.

Anthony stepped out of his house and walked over to join the conversation. "I'm so glad to see you!"

We hugged and lit a smoke to share. His upbeat greeting made me optimistic that he had forgotten what happened earlier in the week.

"Ama, can we talk for a minute?" Anthony's father, Jay, approached me.

"Yeah, what's going on, Jay?" Jason placed his hand on my back and led me into the house to sit on the couch in the living room. I took off my coat and held it in my arms as we sat down.

"Anthony really likes you," He started the conversation with a serious look on his face.

"Yes, I know, I really like him too," I replied.

"You know that Anthony's mother and I love you like the daughter we never had. You will always be a part of our family, no matter what happens," he leaned in closer. "He wanted me to ask you if you could see yourself in a relationship with him. Remember, this won't affect the way we see you. I must say we would love to have you as a daughter-in-law, mom and I love you to pieces," Jay said nonchalantly, as though it wasn't odd for a guy's dad to ask a girl out for him.

I froze. My eyes met with his as I went over the situation in my head. I did love the whole family. From the moment I walked into their home, I felt a sense of belonging.

"I'm sorry, Jay, I love all of you, including Anthony. He is one of my best friends, and I won't ruin that by dating him."

He sat back in his seat and nodded his head.

"I should go, I'll talk to Anthony. Hopefully, he isn't too upset," I said as I stood up. I shrugged my coat on to venture back outside.

"Thank you, I'm sure he will understand. I'm just happy this didn't scare you off."

I met with Anthony later to explain that our friendship meant too much to me. I  couldn't take the chance that a relationship ruined how close they were.

And he wasn't the curly haired savior that I was searching for.

I avoided his gaze, knowing he still felt very strongly that we should be together.

"Are we getting drunk this weekend?" One of the guys blurted.

"Shhh. Yes, we are. Just give me your money, and I will get us liquor," Anthony whispered.

"I don't have any money, but I'll be here."

Finding girls who didn't mind my harsh and sometimes terrifying demeanor was challenging. My best friends, Krystal, Renee, and Annie, were saints for putting up with me like they did.

Like the times I chased my friends around my house with a large knife. 'Pretending to be a killer from a horror movie', only I knew that some part of it wasn't an act. Holding a weapon felt natural. Not that I was a violent person, I just felt an urge to protect myself with violence.