You Can't Break Her

Chapter fifteen: part eight | May

May 2005
Bayhollow, Ontario

Annie blew past me and into Brandon's open arms. I took a step back to assess. I knew they had fooled around and talked about getting together, but I never thought it would become something serious.

"Oh, congratulations. I guess." I shook my head to get the image of the two intertwined out of my head. I tried not to show the growing repugnance that festered within me.

They exchanged looks of confusion that faded and turned into gazes of lust-filled passion. He pulled her close and kissed her as they held each other.

It was almost enough to make me nauseous. I turned to Anthony, knowing he would save me from the yuck that was taking place.

"Have you met Patrick yet? He's an old friend. He just moved back to town, so he is going to be hanging around here more often." Anthony asked, a smile on his lips every time he looked at me.

I shook my head. It was not a name that I had ever heard before. It struck my curiosity, though. Why was an old friend only now starting to hang out with the group? What was he like? Was he available? Did he resemble my celebrity crush? I was desperate for details about a complete stranger.

The shuffle of footsteps emerged from the alleyway next to Anthony and myself. My mind filled with bright happy thoughts at the sight of Matt rounding the corner of the building. It felt like a storm had passed, and I was left with the vibrant rainbow that he was to me.

I ran to give him a hug. We had been friends for many years. We dated off and on in elementary school, then we concluded we were better as friends. He sketched flowers in his notes to me. It was a misplaced and short-lived relationship.

I didn't grow up in a normal environment. I was shown that women are basically just men's possession or that women are nothing without a man at their side. Which meant I started to date young, thinking everything would come together for me when I found a man.

I was blessed to have Matt and Anthony in my life. They were the best friends a person could ever ask for. Both supportive, understanding, and always willing to stick up for a friend. Their shoulders were the ones that I cried on the most. They always knew what to say, no matter the situation.

The night came to an end, and I returned home. My brain was still focused on Annie's horrible choice of guys. I mourned my own state and flailed in the wind, alone. Even with the friends and the family that I had acquired through luck, I was still missing something. There was an empty space in my heart that required someone.

I craved companionship. That was the missing piece of my soul. I craved physical contact and loving gestures. It was what fuelled me to live. I couldn't find any happiness when I looked in the mirror. So I looked for the gratification of others.

___________________________

Two days later

Annie's voice was angry and breathy. Her incoherent whines were too much for my ears.

I winced from the squeaking noises coming from the phone, "I will meet you at Anthony's house. You can tell me when I get there."

When I arrived, she was sitting on the front stoop, cradling her head in her hands. Tears splashed onto her faded skater shoes and the sidewalk beneath her.

I ran across the field. We sat together on the step. I leaned in, "I couldn't understand anything you said on the phone."

She sobbed and continued to stare at the ground, "I'm so stupid, Ama," She wiped the tears from her cheeks, "I thought Brandon was different. You know, not a cheating bastard like the others."

I put my hand on her back, "He cheated on you? What a dick! You should definitely kick his ass."

She stopped crying. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and stood. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides. "You're right," she growled. She looked back at me for a moment and then stomped over to Brandon's door.

She slammed her fist on the door like a police officer. The door opened, and before any protest could be made, she had pushed him into the apartment. She closed the door behind her.

I chuckled to myself. She had a backbone, something I struggled to find in myself.

That weekend, Annie seemed to cheer up a bit. I assumed it was yet another guy that was brightening her mood.

We went to Anthony's house and drank. It was just another Saturday. Regardless of age, everyone spent their weekends partying. It was not healthy and it was illegal, but that didn't matter.

The night ended with a drunk stagger home and a sleep that sucked me in and held me there until 10 am.