You Can't Break Her

Chapter fifteen: part nine | May

May 2005
Bayhollow, Ontario

It was a Saturday, and everyone was relaxing at Anthony's before a night of drinking.

"Do you want to come to the store with me?" Matt asked when he saw me in the living room.

I hopped up from my seat and ran toward him. "Yes, but you have to buy me candy." I clasped my hands together and gave him my best puppy dog eyes.

He nodded and rolled his eyes with a smile.

He bought me junk food and we exited. He tugged at my sleeve and pointed to the park adjacent to the store. By the time we had exhausted all options, the sun had almost set. I was fifteen, and he was fourteen years old, but you are never too old to swing. We took the path behind the housing units to get back.

When we arrived, Annie was stepping into the house. She was giggling and acting foolish. I knew there could only be one reason. Another guy.

I stood behind her, waiting in line to get inside. The hallway was crowded. I could see that there were people huddled just ahead. Instead of sticking it out and having a panic attack, I turned and stood on the front step.

"Annie, do you have a smoke I can have?"

She turned to look at me, "No, I need one too."

"I have one left, but you have to split it with me," an unfamiliar male voice rang out from the crowd.

I disregarded the offer and asked other friends to lend me one.

A tall and skinny man in a leather jacket with dark curly hair stepped out of the crowded doorway.

He turned his back to Annie's attempts to get his attention, walking over to me he held out a cigarette. "Here, but you have to share it with me," he said as he flipped open his zippo and lit it. "My name is Patrick." He was lean and half a foot taller than me.

I was enthralled by his hair. Our fingers grazed one another as I passed the cigarette to him. I couldn't look him in the eye. He might see the deep shade of red I had turned.

Annie came out of the house and ran to me. Patrick nodded to her and went inside.

"Isn't he wonderful." She gushed.

"Who, Patrick?"

Her smile widened. "Yes, isn't he great?"

"Yeah, he seems pretty cool." I drank a few coolers and left for the night.

I did the same thing for the next week, stop by Anthony's. Visit with friends and hang out with Mom and Jason and then go home. All the while, awaiting his return.

Thursday night was different. Right before I left, he showed up. His inquisitive eyes and devilish smile made me wish I could stay. I wanted to play with his dark curls and stare into his eyes forever, but he wasn't mine, and I couldn't do that.

I knew it was wrong to fantasize about my best friends boyfriend. I scolded myself internally, but that didn't change the fact that I wanted him.

Friday night rolled around. I drank coolers and smoked on the porch. I hoped it wasn't obvious that I was waiting for someone.

"Are you ever going to come into the house?" Matt poked his head out the front door. He sat on the porch next to me.

"No, it's a nice night, I want to enjoy it."

He placed his hand on my shoulder, "What's the matter?"

I sighed. He always knew when something was wrong.

"Have you met Patrick?" I started with a small question. I hoped to gather more information before I spilled my guts.

"Yeah, I think so. He's Annie's boyfriend, right?"

"Do you know anything about him? He just showed up, but everyone acts like they have known him forever. Who is he?"

Matt picked the smoke from between my fingers and took a long drag. "They have known him forever. He used to hang out here every night. One day, he just dissappeared. I never knew why, I wasn't close with him, so I never asked questions about it."

"Do you think anyone else might know why he went away?" I kicked the pile of ashes that had grown next to me while I was glued to the front step.

"Anthony was closest with him before he stopped coming over, Maybe he would know." He handed back the cigarette and took a sip of the pop he had placed behind him.

"I don't think him and Annie are going to last long, what about you?"

"I think you're right."