You Can't Break Her

Seven| Is it a girl?

Age 4

January 1994

"I want to go home, Krystal. I want my mom!" I cried in the corner of the room.

Krystal was a few months younger than me, but mentally-stable parents were raising her. Her mother and mine had been friends for a long time; somehow, she wasn't afraid of Jess.

Looking back at her mom on the phone with Jessica, Krystal took my hand. "You can't see her right now. Come on." She brought me to her room and we sat on her bed. "She's having a baby. You're staying here tonight."

I nodded, wiping my face on the sleeve of my sweater. My pout was far from gone because I really wanted to go home. "Okay."

"Let's play with my toys. " She pulled out her collection of Barbie dolls, offering me one. "You'll see her tomorrow."

I shrugged, grabbing the brunette doll she held out to me.

"And you'll have a baby brother or sister," She said with a smile. "Maybe my mom will have another baby, too."

I giggled. "I want my mom to have a girl. Boys are stupid."

We played with her toys for an hour. Her mom called us to the kitchen for a bedtime snack. We watched a movie, eating popcorn with her mom on the couch in the living room.

Ring-ring-ring-

Krystal's mom shot out of her seat, running to the kitchen phone. " Hello... yes... that's great... There were no problems?"

I sat on the edge of my seat, listening from the living room.

"Alright... Okay, I'll get Ama," I heard her mother say. "Ama! Your mom is on the phone."

I zipped into the kitchen, hopping up on a barstool next to the phone. "Is it a girl?"

My mother sighed. "No."

"How come? Why didn't you have a girl? I don't want a brother. I want a sister!" I was overstimulated, my brain imploding at the news of a boy in the family.

"Calm down. You're still a big sister, and you can still help me with the baby."

"No. I wanted a sister!" I screeched. I ignored her reasoning and slammed the phone down.