September 2007
Bayhollow, Ontario
One day I let Patrick know I would be going to visit Jessica. He was well informed about her history, and knew she couldn't be trusted.
"I know she's your mom, but how can you hang out with her like she never hurt you?" He was upset, mostly because he hated seeing me ruin myself the way I was. "Aren't you worried she'll turn on you, and beat your ass again?"
His accuracy at guessing my feelings aggravated me. "It doesn't matter anymore! I'm bigger than her now. She won't try anything."
He shook his head. "Amaris, she has brought grown men to their knees. Your size won't make a difference."
I heard the front door open, Jessica was standing at the bottom of the stairs with her dog.
"I'm going." I waved him off. "I might be home tonight."
After I hung out with Jess for a little bit, I took a walk to the taxi stand. I talked with the married couple about living with them again. That night I waited until two am and went home with them.
The next day I went with my new roommate to his job. They offered me a position with the company, that I took so I could pay rent. I stopped communicating with Patrick, and lived like nothing had changed.
Over the next few days I noticed Patrick popping up all over the city. Anywhere I was, he was also. I tried to ignore it, but it kept being pointed out to me by everyone.
"What do you want?" I grew tired of the stalking and approached him one day. "Are you trying to make me come to your place?"
He hung his head. "I was worried about you."
"Well don't. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."
Another week passed and he was still everywhere. I got paid and felt the most private place to be was in the house. We got a case of coolers and started drinking, my married roommates and myself.
We were a playful group, sex jokes were never an issue because his wife, and I had only ever hung out with guys. That night was no joke. I was a consenting adult in my mind, but I was about twelve drinks deep, and my head was floating when I was asked to sleep with them.
After that I couldn't look them in the eye, and I stopped going in for shifts. I told Patrick, and of course he let me move back in. Because he was a saint in a time of my life when I needed it.
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
You Can't Break Her
Não FicçãoThey say it's hard to find yourself after a traumatic experience. What if for the first six years of your life all you knew was traumatic experiences? How do you find yourself then? Amaris is a friendly child born to a mother with no patience for ch...
