You Can't Break Her

Forteen| Acting crazy

June 1995

Selina and I hung out every other day. It turned out her mother knew mine. Not enough to fear her, so definitely not well enough.

One day we grabbed smokes and matches from her parents. Hiding behind the shed in her backyard, we dropped a lit match while trying to light the cigarette. The grass caught fire, causing us to shriek while fleeing.

We weren't allowed to hang out for a few days after that. The next time we got together, Selina, Todd, and Grant. My bedroom was in the basement so we could throw a ball around, acting crazy because we couldn't be heard.

The games came to an end when we were caught playing doctor. At our age, curiosity ruled overall thoughts.

Later in the month, I hurt my leg. I saw Todd at the park, and he smiled until he noticed the fabric bandage wrapped around most of my leg. His face turned red, and he clenched his fists. He was three years older than me; his concern was written in his demeanour. We sat down a foot apart on a bench, he looked in the opposite direction, not speaking.

"Are you okay?" I thought I had done something wrong.

He clapped once, forcing breath into his cupped hands. "Yeah. I'm fine." He threw himself back on the wooden bench. "What happened here?" He pointed to the wrap on my leg.

"I fell out of my treehouse," I lied. "Do you want to see?"

He didn't believe me. I could see it in his eyes. But curiosity didn't kill the cat; it just made the kittens. He was eager to see my injury. He nodded but kept a stern look on his face. He knew.

We hid in a bush fort at the edge of the fenced-in park. I took off my knee-length shorts with little hesitation - we had played doctor, and all boundaries are removed after you play that game. I unravelled the bandage, and he looked over the purple-blue and green marks on my leg.

"If you fell from your treehouse, how did you only hurt your leg?" He ran his hand over my bruised skin.

The contact of his hand on my leg gave me an intense rush of emotion that was unfamiliar to me. It made my heart race, and that was never a good sign. I rushed to rewrap my leg and get myself together. "I don't know," I mumbled.

"You can tell me. I won't tell anyone," Todd whispered, leaning closer.

The feeling wasn't fading, and I needed to breathe. I was holding my breath until I stood and wasn't face to face with him. "You'll tell your parents. Don't worry. I'm fine."

That was the last time I saw any of those kids. Their parents saw what everyone else had, and that's when they barred their children from associating with me.