Chapter 34

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It was early evening when he woke up and realized he was still here at my house. He got dressed and came out of the bedroom. I was screaming at the television at the woman who was about to be killed but went into the house anyway. I could hear him breathing, standing behind the couch now.

"Same old Adassa, always so involved in her crime and law enforcement shows. You are the only woman I know that screams at the television as if the people in the show can hear you."

"This is good television, and it's based on things that happen in real life. It's what people should be watching."

I waited for him to ask me again about the love triangle, he didn't. He asked me if we had any food in the house. If my children aren't here I am not cooking. I told him, yeah, but I wasn't planning on cooking tonight. I was going to order out, I wanted pizza. He decided to stick around for a while.

Technically, he owned the place, but it's mine. I live here with my babies. He lives with what's her face. I can't call her the woman that destroyed my marriage, he did that. She's what he wants and I'm not standing in the way. This hurts like hell, but I'll live. I have my children to live for. I can't keep dwelling on the past. I have to look ahead to the future.

"So, Laura am I wearing you down yet?"

"Sorry, Urkel nope. I meant what I said I won't live like that. It's all or nothing. You can't give me your all, so you should move on and go be with her."

"Well, it's only the first day I've tried to wear you down though. I got some time."

"Your time is up buddy. I'm ordering pizza now. I know you don't like sausage, so what do you want. I'm getting pepperoni and mushroom."

"I'll get whatever you get."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, Mr. Gavin."

"Hey, I saw your little laptop, I thought the girls had one already."

"Oh, that one is for me, I needed one so I could write."

"Write? What are you going to write?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm excited about the thought and going through the process. I've always wanted to do that."

"You never told me you wanted to write or be a writer."

"I tell you everything, you just don't listen to me. I've gotten used to that."

"I'm sorry I guess I wasn't paying attention."

"I guess you heard something because you called it nagging, and said you just didn't want to hear it."

"Oh, now you have me feeling bad."

"Don't feel bad, I wasn't trying to have you feel bad at all. You asked me what was up and I told you. You don't need to be feeling any kind of way now."

"Why not?"

"You know why not, we are not teenagers, this isn't a game, it's real life."

"I know that woman. I'm trying to make life better for all of us."

"Better for all of us or better for you?"

I guess this is going to be when we really hash it out. I've been repeating divorce to him over and over. He refuses to understand what we had is ending. Finally, the big adult conversation is here.

"You have to understand I never meant to hurt you, or our children. I really don't know what happened or how I even wound up in this predicament. I fell in love twice. The first time was nearly twenty years ago, and the second was recent with Shantay."

"I didn't understand before, but I understand now. You need to move on with your life."

"I'm not trying to move on from you. I love you and I want, and need to be with you, and our children."

"If this is about the children. I would never take them away from you or not let you see them."

"It's about you, me, and our children."

"At this point, it looks like it's about you and that Shantay woman. Just give me my divorce, and let me be free from you, hurt, and pain."

"Jesus woman, are you listening to me?"

"Yes I am, and I'm not budging. After damn nearly 20 years I deserve way better than what you are proposing."

The doorbell rang, and I went to look through the little peephole. It was the pizza delivery guy with two pizzas. I thought I only ordered one. I had to make sure I had enough for both. Gavin paid for the pizza. He didn't want me to worry. The story of my life is about being worried about something.

We ate a majority of the pizza and reminisced about when we didn't have children, and how reckless we were until we started having them. 

"I knew the moment you saw Sharee's little chubby face, that life as we knew it would change."

"Yeah, my mother always told me, if I ever gave birth, that it wouldn't be about me from that point on. She was right."

"We were freaked out and scared to death, we didn't know anything about children."

"This is so true after I gave birth to Angel I just winged it. Jonathon was the only one we really planned because you wanted a boy. What did you say? I need an heir for my throne. That was hilarious but so cute."

 "Yes, I am the king of the castle. I needed a son to carry on my legacy. Besides living in a house full of females was insane. All these girls all over the place." He laughed.

"Oh, so that's why I went through all that labor to give you a boy. You were tired of living in a house full of women. Oh, I was wondering why you were so obsessed with having a boy. Though it did bring a balance to the house. We still run this place though."

"You run this place? Nah!"

"Oh yeah, let's see. Who cooks? Who cleans? Who runs all the errands? Who pays all the bills, with your money, of course? I bet you don't even remember what the front of a bill looks like. Who budgets all the money that you bring in? Little old me. I run the show. You are like the president. You are just the handsome face."

I laughed. His mouth fell open, and he laughed. 

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