Chapter 4

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My phone rings, and its Gavin.

"Hello."

"Did you find my daughter?"

"Oh, now she's your daughter. No, I'm in the car with Kendra and the kids looking for our daughter."

"Adassa you are just so extra, and you wonder why I'm never around."

"Oh hell no, Gavin. Don't blame your absence on me. If you don't want to be around for me at least be around for your children. That's the least you can do. If I am so extra why don't you just divorce me, and call it a day?"

"We took vows woman, we already had this conversation. I really don't feel like having it again."

"I remember the pastor that married us saying in sickness and in health, not in suffering to death."

"The crucial part of our vows Adassa, was when he said until death do us part."

I looked in the back seat of the car to make sure our children weren't listening.

"People get divorced all the time Gavin. Let's be serious here, you don't love me anymore, and I finally understand this. Go and be with this other woman, you've been with all this time. Whoever she is, she seems to make you happy. I know I don't anymore."

"How many times do I have to say it? How many different ways do I have to say it? What are you not getting Adassa? There is no other woman. I am not cheating, and I have not been cheating." He sighed.

"I don't believe you, and your actions tell me otherwise."

I've learned one thing about men over the years. It doesn't matter if they are caught in a lie. They are going to stick with that lie until they can't anymore

I hung up the phone, looked back at my children, and burst into tears. Kendra tried to comfort me, but it just wasn't working. I'm so hurt and I've been hurt all this time.

"You aren't going anywhere Adassa and neither are my children. Find Sharee and bring her home."

"She's your child too, and you could be driving around helping with the search."

He stopped talking; I just heard breathing.

"When I get home, my family had better be there, all of you. Send your sister on her way; she can't stay at my house. I have enough problems."

Before I could respond, the line went dead.

 We continued to search for Sharee. We went all over the city of Chicago, looked in all the places her and her little friends frequented first. Then we started visiting her friends' houses looking for her. We found her, she was at the house of one of the little girls she calls her BFF. Since it was the weekend, the little girls' mom assumed it was okay for her to sleep over. I wanted to snatch her up, but why would I embarrass her in front of other people?" 

"What in the hell were you thinking? You do know you're not a grown woman right? You are not free to leave my house when you feel like it. You need to understand that this is not a democracy. You have no say so, and you can't do as you please. Have you lost your ever-loving mind? Don't answer that now. Think about it on the ride home while I think about your punishment."

I seriously wanted to knock her silly, and maybe that would knock some sense into that brain of hers.

 On the ride home, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. When we got back to the house the children got out of the car and ran to the door. Kendra opted not to come in, she overheard everything that Gavin said.

"I'd like to stay and catch up, but I heard what Gavin said over the phone. He was loud enough to be heard in China."

She laughed and gave me a half hug through the window of the car. The tears began to roll down my face. 

"Don't give him the satisfaction seeing you cry; you have to be strong for your children. He isn't worth the tears or the hassle. If you need anything at all, make sure you call me. You know the drill I'll come running. I love you"

"Thank you, and I love you too."

I watched her drive away and went to let the children in the house. As soon as the door opened they ran to their rooms. I don't have the strength to deal with Sharee right now; I'll do that later. Right now, I'm about to get comfortable and wait for Gavin. We really need to talk. This, whatever this is, isn't working.

I sat down on the couch and somehow drifted off to sleep, waiting for him. I wasn't surprised when I woke up though, you guessed it, no Gavin. This asshole didn't even call to see if we found Sharee, and he wonders why I am ready to give up on this marriage. I went into my room, changed into my pajamas and went to bed. 

I laid there in our bed by myself for a few hours tossing and turning. I couldn't for the life of me get to sleep. I was so freaking upset, I thought maybe a drink would calm me down and make me sleepy. I went down the hall quietly, walked into our kitchen, and looked through our wine cabinet for some hard liquor. I found half a bottle of Stoli's vodka, looked in the fridge for a chaser. There it was the juice Gavin claimed we didn't have. He so desperately needed to go out and get some in the middle of the night. I knew what he was doing though, I knew where he was going. He wasn't fooling anyone but himself. A gallon of unopened orange juice was sitting right there in the fridge. This pissed me off even more. I drank what was left of the vodka, and a whole lot of orange juice. I went back to our room, climbed back into bed, and drifted off to sleep tipsy. 

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