Issues

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Daniel

I sat in my room, staring at the acceptance letters from colleges I had applied to in the fall. I should be ecstatic about being accepted, but I wasn't. I hadn't been happy about a lot of things lately.

The only thing I looked forward to being with Lyric, but even then, I was afraid she would grow tired of me and leave me. I know she said she wouldn't, but I knew one day she would. It was just a matter of time.

I tried not to think about it, as I picked up the letters and shoved them into a drawer. I was to meet Lyric in a few; I couldn't wait. In my world of chaos, she was the only thing that made sense.

The only problem was thoughts nagged at me, continually causing me to doubt and feel anxious. Voices in my head kept telling me that nothing was right. I just tried to ignore them. Maybe a pill will help.

I pulled out a bottle and opened it before popping a pill. Then I closed it, tossing it back into the drawer. At least, it will silence the nagging voices for a little while.

I hated it when they would get loud. I couldn't shut the voices off. Sometimes it became overwhelming. Sherry used to tell me that I was overdramatic. She didn't get it. When we broke up, it upset me but relieved at the same time.

Sadness crept over me, making me feel like I was a loser because my girlfriend would rather be with another girl than with me. It made me feel like I was nothing.

Then one day, Lyric talked to me. It had been a bad day, mostly. I couldn't stop crying and felt like I was losing my mind. Everything felt overwhelming until I bumped into her. Our books flew out of our hands and landed on the ground.

From there, we started talking. At that moment, I didn't feel hopeless. I felt happy for once. Then the voices started telling me things. The sounds are telling me that Lyric would leave me that I wasn't good enough. It made me want to hang on tighter.

I got up and grabbed my keys to go pick up Lyric. I didn't care what we did as long as she was with me. At least if she was with me, I knew she wouldn't leave me.

We went out to eat, then to a movie before going back to her house. We laid on her bed as she laid in my arms. We didn't need to do anything. I just wanted to have her in my arms. At least, I knew I still had her.

Her door opened up, and we looked to see her Dad giving us a weird look.

"Dad, we aren't doing anything. Relax," she smirked.

"Better not be," he replied.

She gave him a look as he went to close the door only to leave it open. She just rolled her eyes.

"My dad is crazy," she giggled.

"Yeah, but at least he cares," I said to her.

She gave me a look as I sat up. She followed suit. "Daniel, your parents care."

"Maybe," I said.

"What's going on with you?" Lyric asked.

"It's nothing. I'll be glad when school is over with," I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

"I think we all will be. Honestly, I can't wait to get to college. Did you hear from any of the schools you applied to?" She looked at me with hope. I knew what she wanted to hear, but I lied.

"Not yet," I said.

Her face changed. "Really? Because we all got our letters. Even Frick and Frack got theirs."

"Yeah, they probably haven't finished mailing them yet," I said to her. I got my letters - all of them. My parents ask me every day if I got my messages and I tell them, and said to Lyric, a lie. They didn't come yet if they only knew.

"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure the letters will come," Lyric reassured me.

I didn't want to talk about college or the future. I wanted to just wanted to live at the moment. I just wanted to spend time with Lyric. I just wanted the voices to stop.

Eventually, I went home. I walked in met by my Dad. "Daniel?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I said.

"Son, your mother, and I worry about you. Ever since you started seeing Lyric, you haven't been yourself," he said worriedly.

"Stop right there. You will not stop me from seeing Lyric. I love her," I told Dad.

"Daniel," Dad said.

"No, Dad," I shook my head. "I refused to stop seeing her." I walked away.

I wasn't happy, but it wasn't because of Lyric. There were so many reasons, and I couldn't talk about them.

I wanted people to understand that Lyric was the best thing ever to happen to me. How could my parents think differently? Then the voices got louder.

Everything was closing in on me. The meds were not working. Maybe it was time to see someone about this. I just wanted not to feel sad all the time. I wanted the voices to stop. I wanted peace.

I made an appointment with Maverick. He was Larkin's counselor, and I figure he could help me. He met with me, and after listening, he felt someone else would be better to deal with what I had going on with me.

That's when he introduced me to Dr. Jordan Shaw. He sat with me as I talked. Most of it was rambling. I couldn't get my thoughts straight, and I didn't want to go to the hospital. I just wanted to feel like myself.

After hearing me out and jotting notes down, he finally diagnosed me.

"Daniel, you have the onset of schizophrenia. The voices in your head are a major factor," he explained.

"What do I do?" I asked him.

"We'll prescribe you medication for it. It will take a few weeks for your body to adjust and your mind, but it should help. We will also continue the therapy sessions," Jordan told me.

"I want them to stop, and I don't want anyone to know. Promise me you won't tell anyone anything about this," I pleaded with Jordan.

"Daniel, I'm not allowed to discuss your case with anyone. HIPPA prevents me from doing so. You're eighteen, so I do not need your parents' consent. Not in the State Of Michigan," he explained to me.

That was a relief. I didn't need Lyric to look at me like I was crazy. I didn't want her to see me that way. I didn't want her to leave me because her boyfriend had issues.

I sat there, mumbling to myself until Jordan's voice snapped me out of it, "Daniel, they aren't real. The voices are telling you these things that aren't real. Whatever you're thinking, it's because they are telling you to do it. Don't listen to them."

I nodded as he handed me a piece of paper. It was two medications to help me. One was antipsychotic, and the other was anti-tremors. I looked at it and sighed. At least maybe this will help. I hope.

For the next two weeks, Jordan worked with me on adjusting my meds, so I started feeling better. The voices stopped, and I didn't feel hopeless. Things were getting better overall.

I even told people about getting accepted to a school and attended with Lyric. I could not be happier than I was right now. Things were going well, and I felt better.

Jordan kept seeing me, and we talked. I felt relief that for once in my life, I didn't feel like I was spiraling out of control. Maybe things will get better. One can only hope.

I looked at the bottle of meds and placed them on my nightstand, closing the drawer. Then I walked out to meet Lyric. I could not wait.

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