The Last Dance

The Last Dance (32)

Had the circumstances been different his words would be nothing out of the ordinary, but now they rang with significance.

A strong implication stood behind those words and we both knew what it was.

Suddenly I was angry.

He had no right to pity me.

He had no idea.

No idea what this was doing to me.

It had been easy for him; he'd never been under the obligation I was now under. How could he pretend to understand?

He didn't, he couldn't.

"Your point?" I asked through clenched teeth.

He sighed in resignation, not even phased by my poorly contained anger.

He'd expected this reaction.

"My point is that you've hardly spoken to anyone at the ball. How do you expect to find anyone that way? You don't even try."

I could feel the anger building up, the words forcing their way out of my mouth.

"And you think two days, even five days will do the trick? That I can somehow get to know someone well enough to marry them?"

The word hung in the air between us, the one we'd both avoided saying until now. It hung heavy with a thousand expectations, a thousand questions, doubts and fears, and somewhere deeper, a heart on the verge of breaking.

My voice came out a cold whisper, each word dripping with disdain.

"What's the point? What does it matter? Let them choose for all I care, it all ends up being the same. I never really had a choice in the matter, why bother playing the game? I quit."

His eyes hardened, but just as fast his gaze lowered, unable to face me.

"I never wanted this for you Johnathan."

"But you're letting it happen."

Without waiting for a reply I stood up to leave the room.

I opened the door more forcefully than necessary and slammed it shut as I left.

One look at Mason's expression told me he'd heard everything we'd said inside. It was a small relief knowing someone else shared the burden.

"Keep an eye on her for me Mase." I heard my voice crack, the image from yesterday coming back to me again. I couldn't face her just yet, not like this.

He nodded immediately and I quickly walked away, not glancing back to see if either of them followed; I knew they had the sense not to.

It was all so unfair. Finally I'd fallen in love, and it had to be with the one girl I couldn't have. Or rather, the one who wouldn't have me.

Hadn't we both known it all these days? That I would have to pick someone else?

And yet I couldn't help but keep her selfishly for myself the last two nights, hardly sparing a glance for the other girls in the room.

She drew my eyes to her constantly and it was impossible to look away, not that I wanted to.

Everyone paled in comparison, and judging by yesterday, they knew it.

If only she could see it, if only I could convince her to see it then maybe she would...

I let the thought trail off, not daring to get my hopes up.

It wouldn't make a difference.

Even if she liked me, even if she loved me, she'd never want to be Queen. I've always known that. It's the only thing I've ever been sure about with her. It's even what made me fall in love with her; because she didn't even try, never treated me any different, if anything harsher, as if to remind me I was no different from the rest.