Risk it for the biscuit || Roadtrip

Chapter 58

At the same time on New Years Day in Wyatt's house, Brooklyn was sitting on the couch in the living room, surrounded by a complete darkness. It was about 5AM and he was alone, but he didn't feel sleepy at all. Today was the day. Today was the day when he told his mother about Katie*. The memories were traveling in his mind so chaotically, making him question whether it actually happened.

Couple of hours ago, they were celebrating new year in a really lovely atmosphere. Everyone was gathered together, even Katie didn't seem to be mad at him as she usually did. The jokes, laughs and talks finally made him feel alive and happy - made him forget about all the problems.

However it didn't last for long. Some time before 1AM when they were talking about random things, his mum mentioned the band. That was the cumulative point for Katie - she suddenly became rude, angry and left the room before anyone could ask her what happened. Brooklyn didn't reveal anything yet, he knew talking about it in front of whole family isn't ideal. Therefore, around 2:30AM, when everyone left, he took his mum to the kitchen to tell her.

It was hard.
So fucking hard.

His mothers eyes, when he mentioned everything, lost its natural brightness within seconds. She covered her mouth, clasping on a chair near her - it was too much for her and he knew it. But someone HAD to know. Just in case when he'll leave to see boys again and she'll think of doing it again.

"Have you spoken to her?" His mothers voice woken him up from his thoughts. "Did she.. did she tell you why she does.. this?" She asked quietly, not being able to name it properly.

"She hates me" he replied sadly. He has given this situation lots of thoughts and he was sure that everything he was saying was true. "It seems like she's jealous of my life.. of me" he said something he didn't mean to reveal. His mum looked at him in surprise, wanting some explanation. "She told me she will stop" he said suddenly, seeing Claire's head piercing up within seconds. "She'll stop if I leave the band" he said in one go, seeing his mother's eyes widen with shock.

That was the end. This was when he run away from the room, leaving his mother on his own. Now as he thought about it, he knew it was the stupidest decision. He was meant to be there for her to support her, not to run away like an immature child. But he just couldn't take it all, it was too much for him.

"Brook?" He heard a voice in the darkness and suddenly someone turned on the lamp near the door. His mother came in and sat next to him, looking a lot better than before. Unfortunately, that couldn't be said about him. Anyone who saw him in that moment would describe him as a walking death: alive, but not living. "It's not your fault" he heard his mum saying as she put her hand on his shoulder. She must have realised how awful he looked, especially now, when he didn't have to hide it all from her.

He didn't reply at first, getting lost in the feeling of support his mother gave him right now. This whole situation was breaking him apart; there was not a moment when he thought about something different than Katie or her problem. "Mum" he said suddenly, looking in woman's eyes. "I cannot.." he started as his voice cracked, "I cannot leave the band" he finished, feeling tears forming in his eyes.

"I know darling. I know" she said calmly as she wrapped his hands around him. This has been a cumulative moment for Brook. He burst out crying, not being able to hold all the emotions in him. He felt guilty for choosing boys over his family, but he knew he couldn't let Katie break everything he enjoyed apart. He loved her, but it seems as if she didn't love him.

"What Katelyn did was awful" Claire said silently. "No matter what problems she is facing right now, she's not allowed to let you suffer because of it" she said. Brook could hear the afraid in her voice - they both weren't sure whether Kate was serious in her threads. However, just the thought of not seeing boys any more gave him a heart pain; they were his best friends. He did not imagine his life without Mikey's morning alarms that he never turned off. Rye's multiple number of empty tea cups, scattered around the table. Jack, who was always sleeping or Andy, who he was always talking with before sleep.

"Should I.. tell her?" He asked his mum, having another huge problem to face. In 2 days he'll come back to flat with the boys and there was no way she wouldn't realise that.

"I don't know son. I don't know" his mother replied, giving them both some time to think about it.

——————

It seemed as Brook wasn't the only one with a lot in his mind at that late hour. Back in a busy London, Belle was standing in her room, near the door, waiting for her heart beat to come back to a normal state. She slowly walked to her bed and sat down, thinking about what just happened - or what didn't just happen between her and Rye.

Everything got out of control, she didn't expect them to get so lost in the moment. She was mad at herself she didn't stop it earlier. The situation between her and the boy was still complicated, technically they were still friends.

"You're only a play toy for Rye, nothing more" she thought about one of the DMs she got from the roadies. There were hundreds of similar ones and even though, Belle perceived them as completely untrue before, now they were becoming more reasonable. Did he really wanted only one thing from her? Why would he bother with so many surprises? Did he lie about really liking her?

"Ugh, stop thinking about it!" She told herself, taking the first magazine she saw by the table. However, Mother Nature decided to laugh at her face as the first title she saw there was: How to check if his feelings are true. Belle quickly turned the pages to the quiz, without double thinking about it. However, this didn't boost up her mood at all: furthermore, it made her feel more frustrated. All the questions she answered, suggested that the boy wants to stay friends or have one night stand. "Stupid quizzes" she shouted, throwing the paper on the wall. She walked to the bathroom, feeling that this sudden anger is slowly changing into extreme sadness. She got changed and took off her make up, trying to do it in the quickest way possible.

However, that's when her low esteem started to kick in. She looked at herself in the mirror, analysing her look step by step. Long, curly, brown hair that were usually straight and boring. Her nose, that she always hated, lips that were too small. Body, that even though not overweight, still had some unnecessary fat, especially around the hips and bum area. She knew thinking about her in such a worthless way wasn't a good way to live. She knew about her advantages, but there were some insecurities that even if she was usually accepting, were troubling her in nights like this one. She wasn't a league for Rye; she remembered what she said before holidays - the fact he needed some pretty model to fit his boyband image. She still believed it.

The situation from today was another thing that stressed her out. She cursed her mind for playing this stupid game with Rye, trying to be seductive. Technically, her words started it but there was no denying of what Rye had in mind. The saddest part was that they were not even together. They kissed 2 times, but it seemed like it didn't mean anything to him, considering he always acted like nothing happened. She tried to copy his actions and forget about it as well, but it couldn't work in this case. It went too far. For her sex was a beautiful addition to love and relationship. And now, even though it was breaking her heart, she started to believe that for Rye she was a simple one night stand.

If he truly loved her, why didn't he ask her out? He told her he liked her, but she didn't know what it meant. He had girlfriends; it didn't seem as if he was scared of being in a relationship.

"Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with me" she whispered as her voice cracked. She felt tears forming around her eyes and she let them fall, laying on her bed. It was one of the times when she allowed her weaknesses to show, knowing she's alone and no one can judge her. Tomorrow she had to act strong again.

* To anyone who didn't realise or doesn't remember, Katie is the girl Brook had an argument with; the one that stays in his house.

Also, Happy Aprils Fools and Happy Easter. Hope everyone has the best day!