G/T Adventures

I'm Sorry

"B-Bianca? Can I talk to you for a moment?" Emily whispered, rubbing her left arm nervously. She kept her eyes glued on her bare feet as a familiar shadow fell over her.

"Emily? What is it?" Bianca responded, looking down at her Borrower friend with a gentle smile. It'd been almost a year now since she'd found her hanging from a vent in the floor. She didn't know how long the tiny girl had been hanging there before she managed to find her just before she fell.

"You've been such a good friend to me. A-And I want you to know something that has been on my mind for quite a while now. Maybe just a few short months even." The Borrower took a deep breath through her nose before continuing. 

"I think I love you. You've been so kind, so gentle and patient with me. After all that I had gone through with other humans, you just suddenly saved me and took me in. I know it's different for a girl to like a girl, and some find it wrong. But whenever I'm around you my heart just races, and not from fear. Whenever you pick me up or hold me, I get butterflies swirling through my stomach and an odd tingling sensation runs down my spine. At first, I thought I was just afraid. But then I realized I'm not scared of you!" Emily lowered her pale blue eyes, causing her light brown hair to fall into her face. "I completely understand if you don't return my feelings, or don't want me to be around anymore. I can go if you want me to."

Bianca stood in silence, staring at the small figure in her palm. She...loved her? The young woman turned her gaze to a random spot on the wall as she processed the information she was just given. "Emily...I...I don't return those feelings. I'm not bisexual, or a lesbian. I like men. Just men. But I'd never ask you to leave. I'd never want to not see you, I just don't feel the same way about you. Maybe I love you, but as a sister or good friend."  

Before she could even finish what she was saying, she could already see her friend's tiny shoulders shaking. She could hear soft sniffles. Her chest tightened at the thought of breaking the Borrower's heart, but she had to be honest. She couldn't be with someone that didn't make her happy. That she didn't love like that. 

"I-I understand," Emily whispered, hot tears leaving trails down her face as she struggled to fight them back. She had thought she prepared herself for this. Never had she thought it was going to sting as much as it did. 

"Oh, Emily, don't cry. I'm truly, very sorry." Bianca brought her close in a slightly awkward, gentle hug. "I wish I could say I did return those feelings. I'd never want to purposefully hurt you. It's just...not everyone has these types of feelings. Like you said, some find it wrong. While I see nothing wrong with it, I don't feel that way. I'm sorry."

Remaining silent, Emily wrapped her arms around one of the fingers supporting her and began to cry. Gut-wrenching sobs filled the room, filled Bianca's ears. 

The Borrower was unable to say a thing. Anytime she tried to calm herself down or talk, another choked wail made it's way past her lips. Bianca must think she's so pathetic to be like this. So many times she told herself there was no chance that she and Bianca would ever date. So why? Why did she even bother to ask?

Unable to do anything else, Bianca watched her crying friend with concerned eyes. She couldn't take her eyes off of her. It was killing her that she'd hurt her this much. She did the only thing she could do, and just repeat what she was actually feeling. "I'm sorry, Emily."