Forget it

Twenty four.

I give him a smile as I walk into the classroom and grab a tissue before sitting down. I think I might be catching something but I only hope it's just a 24 hour thing. When I turn around and walk back to my desk, I notice Juile sit back into her seat quickly as Hailey turns her head back to the front of the classroom.

The fuck?

I get to my seat and pull out my binder and book for the class. I usually end up setting it on the table to block my phone view from the teacher even though he doesn't care that much, I still do it just in case.

"Hey Juile." I give a slight smile.

"Hi." She says in a tone that's off in a way and she looks up at the board as if our teacher is teaching but in reality he sits over at his desk.

She says nothing more but I can tell her face is a few shades darker with a hint of red and I'm not sure what in the hell is going on and with that Hailey stunt a while ago, makes me more uneasy. She decides not to carry on a conversations so I pull out my phone in hopes of something.

I have a reply from Mike on our earlier conversation but I don't bother with it and send him a whole new topic, one he might not care for.

"Juile and Hailey are acting weird." I send and tap my foot waiting for his reply.

"So?" He replies and I roll my eyes as I can heard his voice perfectly through text message.

"So, one happens to be my best friend and the other I don't like. I thought Juile didn't like her either but it seemed as if they had a conversation they didn't want me to hear." I look over at Juile and shes on her phone and I direct my attention towards Hailey, shes on her phone too.

I wonder if they continued it in text?

I feel my phone buzz and I'm feeling more annoyed by his reply,

"You're being paranoid stop worrying about Hailey."

I don't bother to reply to his text message, I'd rather deal with this tonight over our usual cam session.

..

"Hey, miss moody girl." He gives me a smile but I want to swat at his arm.

"Hey, mister asshole." I give him a smile too and he laughs at me.

"What's up sugar?" My heart flutters everytime he calls me a cute name and I feel myself get red in my cheeks when he licks his lips and stares at me.

"Nothing, I was listening to music before you called." 

"What music?" He asks intrigued and I proceed to tell him.

"John Legend, Nirvana, and some new song Juile recommended."

"Nice." He shakes his head up and down with an impressed look.

"Yeah, I've been having that new song on repeat for the longest." My thoughts are taken away from me and are placed where I had one of my lowest nights ever.

"What song?" He scrunches up his eyebrows and looks at me.

"Hold on till May, I think? I'm not totally sure who the band is but it helped me in a way I will surely be thankful for." I try to give my best smile but it fails when all I can see is my blood going down the drain.

"How did it?" His voice cracks and I give him an odd look.

"Well, for starters it was there for me." I look down and smile when I notice it is true. If it wasn't for that song, I don't know where or how many more cuts would be on my arm at this point in time.

"Whenever I was on the floor, drowning in my thoughts and tears... I didn't want nothing more than to realase all of the pain and hurt. I knew what I was doing was very wrong and selfish but I didn't care. I felt so alone as you know and I have never understood hurt and pain. Nothing ever connected to me, like this song did. Yeah, a lot of people connect to lyrics cause they go through that but never once did I. When I was at my lowest, I understood the meaning of every word that came from that song. I was tied to it in a way, I should be way more than thankful." 

I feel a tear in my eye at my confession but I notice Mike is in... pain? 

"Those lyrics were wrote in the best and most beautiful way a person can ever be thankful for. It stopped me in my tracks when I was self harming and made me realize, I will be okay." I smile and look down at my hands that are knotted together from all of my axiety.

When I look back up Mike is moving around in his seat as if he's uneasy about my confession and I start to feel myself regretting telling him for some reason.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing." Mike says quickly.

Too quickly.

"I have to go though. Vic needs me." He says and I feel a sting in my heart.

And before I can even ask why, I see nothing but a blank space where his face used to be.