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After the short fused conservation with Julie, I seem to get more and more agitated with her. We both sit in silence as we finish our cereal and drink our orange juice. We usually don't get upset with each other cause we seem to click more than anyone I know or have seen. She's been my best friend for years now, meeting back in Kindergarten. She was very outspoken while I kinda stood there watching people and see how they would do things. We got paired up by Mrs. Grey because I'm guessing she wanted Julie to break me from my shell I was in, surely enough she did. More than anyone will know.

"Want to go see Frankie before you head off home?" Geez. She always seems to break me from my deep thoughts, sometimes I don't know whether to be happy or frustrated because of it, but do I really want to go out and see her horse though? I'm ready to go home and get into my bed and hopefully think about every thing going on in my life, mostly Tyler and school though. 

"Nah, I'm about to head home. I'm really just emotionally drained right now." I say and take a deep sigh.

"Alright Addi, I guess I'll text you or you can whenever we need each other or get bored."


Walking in through the front door, I bother not to tell my mom about my day or even start conversation, I quickly get into my room and turn my lights off and head straight to my bed. I hate feeling like this, I hate being so emotional. Why do I have to be such a girl right now? I really need to start looking on the bright side about things and not let stuff get to me, but that seems like way too much work and effort.

I lay in bed and start to dwell on the fact about Tyler and him not wanting to commit to me, I really hope and pray he decides to finally call me his girlfriend. We've been on and off for ever now almost being a year and three months. He never wanted to label us because he didn't want that tittle and felt like he needed it to still be himself. Julie calls me crazy when I tell her it but I just don't know. I'm starting to see that maybe I do need that commitment, specially since he's been hanging around a new crowd of people at our school.

I slowly start to feel a wetness in the corner of my eye, but I push it away before I let these thoughts consume me. Without thinking I grab my phone and click on my Instagram app, just because Julie can't seem to stay off hers and apparently mine now.

Scrolling through my news feed seems really pointless because all I see is new guys who I don't really know or pictures I can't like because that'd seem kinda creepy. Following randomly then liking pictures? Yeah, no thanks.

Scrolling more and more, I seem to see a few cute guys but nothing that really catches my eyes until I see this one photo of a guy whose username is 'mikefuentes.' In the photo he has on a snapback that's on backwards, Ray Bands, with the photo being black and white. Hm. Black and white doesn't really sit well with me, but then I notice him looking off into the distance, like he was in deep thought about something...


With that, I lock my phone and toss it to the left of me and get up off my bed and walk into the living room to find my mom watching tv but mostly on her phone. What is up with everyone on their phones? Can they not find something else to do? More productive, maybe?

Snapping me from my thoughts, my mom looks at me and gives me a simple "Hey"

"Hi." I simply state.

"Are we still going to the movies Friday?" My mom gives me a curiosity look.

"Sure, I guess. Seems okay to me."

"Well... Are you wanting Tyler to come? Because I know hanging out with me gets a bit boring now." She lightly chuckles.

Do I want Tyler to come with us? Maybe it'll give us a bit more reassurance we've been needing. Or I have been needing.

"Sure, I'll ask." 

She gives me a smile and I walk right back towards my room. For the second time today, I find myself turning my light off and heading straight to my bed. Leaving my thoughts to myself... letting them consume me.

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