Twenty five.

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I had to leave the chat because I'm not just ready to face her about everything and she just simply doesn't need to know. I came up with some lame ass excuse about my brother needing me but it's 10 pm and he knows I have my nights with her now. I feel slightly bad I had to end the call like that but it's nothing compared to my feelings right now. Everything about my brother Vic is washing over me and I feel myself shaking at the thought of his past and somehow it might end up like mine. I have dreaded this almost for two years now. Vic has reassured me it won't happen and that I need to get over it since it happened to him but even then, I know he doesn't even believe his own words. 

I want to text Addison saying I will miss her tonight but I know she will end up asking me what happened, so I decide against it and text one of my good friends, Tony.

"Man. Can we talk a bit?" I send over a quick text.

Even though Tony is quiet as hell, he has the most down to earth advice and doesn't just look at it from one side. He considers them all and will tell you a blunt answer.

"Sure, lay it on me."

I type up a lot of bullshit feelings I have stored a way for a while. My breathing is gone ragged by the time I press the send button. Thinking about my brothers past and how bad he still hurts, makes me hurt.

"Woah. I can see where u are coming from man. I dont kno what to say to all of that. What happened 2 Vic is definitely something we all are scared of that will happen 2 us. We just have to believe in that person n make sure it dosnt."

I love how simple that text was and how much meaning it hid behind it. He understands at how I am feeling and knows exactly what to say. I feel better now and it's only 11:21 pm.

Addison and I should still be camming but due to my insecurities I had to end the call and probably made shit even worse than what it was. I know she is probably sitting in her bed thinking of all of the worst possibilites that I had to leave for. 

I finally decide to send over a message to her, but I need to make sure it's something she will always remember and will have some type of affect on her.

Fuck, what can I do.

What the hell is good enough?

I scan my room, looking around everywhere trying to find something that will cheer her up just a tad bit until I figure all of this shit out. I find a bracelet that has the word "Sex" written on it and smirk at the thought of showing her but quickly toss it knowing she doesn't need that right now.

I run over to my bookshelf which isn't full of books but mostly of random shit. I scan over it and see her favorite movie on the very bottom. I grab it and stick it underneath my arm.

I make a short distance to my desk and pull out my box that I haven't shown anyone. It's full of my thoughts and opinions on everything that has really came across my mind. It started when I was a teen and used it to help a bit with my issues. I look through a few but remember that I need to take action quick. All my recent ones are filled with tiny scribbles with Addison's name written on them. I grab my latest one, and stick it underneath my arm as well.

I go to grab my phone off my bed and thats where I notice the last touch to all of this corny shit I have came up with in a matter of 5 minutes.

I set everything on my desk, the hand written note open with the titanic movie on the other side of it but I smile at the most important thing in the middle of it all to tie it together.

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