I await for Mike's face to pop up onto my computer screen, I asked him to cam with me because I feel a bit worried about my classmate Hailey and how she knows Mike. I know I am probably overreacting about her but I can't but help the slight pain of jealousy in my heart. As selfish as it is, I wanted to keep Mike to myself.
His face appears on my screen and I suddendly feel as if I might cry and I'm not sure why.
"Mike, I have a question."
"And I hope I have an answer." He gives me a smirk.
I laugh a bit and realize that the slight pain of jealousy is back and I can't but help to welcome it.
"Do you know Hailey? Hailey Westwood? She lives in Texas.. In my town, actually. Well, I share English class with her." I give a fake laugh and soon as I look into his eyes, his look else where.
He looks almost as if he's in pain when he answers my question. I was hoping he wouldn't have known her and I almost feel like someone has hit my in my throat because I'm finding it hard to breathe. I change the subject after he answers my question because it all seems unreal to me and I was hoping for him to tell me he had no idea who she is but things just don't seem to be working in my favor.
We make small talk but every little thing he is saying seems to be going in one ear and out the other. My mind keeps going back to Hailey and how she knows him. I almost interrupt Mike to ask but I keep it to myself waiting for the right time. It doesn't come though, I waited too long and he's off my computer screen. He told me he had some things to do and couldn't cam with me anymore tonight, I felt more pain creep into my chest. He has never ended a call with me like that before and hasn't ever been so distant. It's almost killing me as went away so quickly without giving me some type of reassurance that everything is fine and he just had stuff to do. I feel as if I scared him off with the Hailey thing but I just can't help it.
My feelings for him are so absurd and I don't even need to be catching feelings for someone who doesn't even live in my town, let alone state. I start to think about things and how I would be better off ending all contact with Mike. I shouldn't be caring over someone I have no chance with and for someone who doesn't even like me back. I feel a wetness in the corner of my eye and I try to swallow it back but it doesn't go away, it just goes down my face. I have tried so hard not to like someone else, but I can't help my feelings towards Mike. He was there for me when Tyler broke my heart and has been there as my support the past few months. I have never connected to someone so quickly and it work out so perfectly.
I have felt drained the past few days. Mike and I have started to talk less and Tyler and I have started to talk more. The thought scares me and I don't want to face the truth that maybe it just wasn't meant to be with Mike and I. My thoughts are taken away from me when I sit down in my seat next to Juile in English class. I have dreaded this class ever since I heard Hailey mention Mike to us. Ever time she talks, I feel the need to listen to her and be quite nosy. She usually talks to the girl who sits beside her but today she is listening to music and is humming really loudly. I don't have it in me to speak to Juile about my feelings so I do the same and plug in one of my headphones. I play the song "Can you feel my heart" by Bring Me The Horizon and listen to the words carefuly and begin to drift my thoughts to Mike. I'm almost in deep thought when I notice Hailey take out her headphones and begin talking to the girl next to her. I'm thankful that one headphone is out of my ear so I can listen somewhat as to what she is saying. She rambles on about her trip to somewhere and I begin to question as to where she is going. I tap lightly on my desk when my thoughts are taken away and pulled to the song,
"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone,
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."
I smile at the lyrics and convert my attention back to Hailey and when I do my heart drops and she answers the question that I wanted to know. She's going to San Diego, California this weekend and everything stops around me. I pull the headphone from my ear and stare at her when she starts to talk again. She says she'll be leaving this Friday and coming home on Sunday night. My stomach gets knotted up at her confession and I wait for class to be over.
I get home and don't even bother grabbing my laptop, I'm confused and hurt by everything that has been happening lately and I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that Hailey is leaving to go to San Diego. I start to wonder if maybe taking a trip somewhere would relieve some stress from me and decide I will talk to my mom later on about taking a short trip one weekend coming up.
This doesn't stop the feeling deep down in me when I see my phone and consider asking Mike what he's going to be upto this weekend. I send him a quick text saying that we should pull all nighters this whole weekend, just to see if he'll agee to me.
I get a reply from him and my smile changes into a frown when I read the message,
"I can't. This weekend I will be busy."
I almost ask to why he will be busy, but then I start to put the pieces together.
Hailey is going to visit him.
YOU ARE READING
When Addison gets caught up in guys through out her high school year, will she be able to find out who she truly is after this? Will someone finally make a break through and get her to see what life really is about? Or will she take life by the horn...