Nineteen.

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I feel as if I might throw up, I am mixed with emotions as I stare down at the number, I have tried so hard to forget. So many things are crossing my mind as to why he texted me, and does this mean that he cares. My heart starts to race at the thought of it and swells just a bit. 

He must care.

I stare at the text message with a blank expression, should I reply? Or should I go back to what I was doing an try to forget him?

What? Go back to crying and sleeping all the time trying to forget someoe you love? My conscience sneers.

I don't have much time to reconsider my decision so I go with my gut feeling and text him back.

"Talk to me."

After I send the text message, I can feel the reality setting in. My eyes go big at the screen of my phone and realize that in fact, he did text me.

"What?!" I sit up in my bed, with a shocked smile setting across my features. I place my hands onto my face and think about what just happened. 

I finally get to talk to him.

I remove my hands from my face and look down and notice just how bad of shape I am in. I have tons of tissue thrown everywhere and a bowl of uneaten cereal that has been there for four days now. I feel completely disgusted at the sight of me and finally see that, Mike does have an effect on me. In a matter of minutes I have felt more alive than I have all week. All by a simple text message.

My thoughts are cut short when I feel my phone buzz in my lap. His text message reads,

"I miss you."

I can feel so much has lifted from me as I read the message another 10 times. I am beyond happy that he decided to text me after what happened. I am still beyond upset at the fact he is seeing Hailey behind my back and not letting me know before hand and acting completely stupid when I confronted him about it.

I am beyond stoked to see his number across my screen though and I feel butterflies in my stomach as his simple words hit my heart. I have missed him more than words can describe and I want nothing more than to see his face. I have missed everything about it.

..

"Oh my gosh, Addison!" Mike gives me a laugh and smile when he notices his loud words startled me.

"What, dork?" I smile back.

"Even though, my mom and me had a tough time." He pauses for a second and I take in a deep, sharp breath, already hurting from that sentence.

"She would always make me smile so fucking big at school photos." I give him a look as to why he bought this up but I am greedy for more stuff about him so I listen carefully.

"Yeah?" I give a soft chuckle.

"No, Addi. You do not understand." His eyes widden and looks at me with a horrid expression.

"It was this bad." He smiles from ear to ear and my heart melts at the sight before me. I can't help the giggles that escape from my mouth.

"That's definitely one of me favorite faces of yours." I sigh while looking else where but his eyes.

"Oh. So theres more than one you like?" He looks at me and his eyes pierce into mine as if he has no idea what he is doing to me.

"Anyways," I giggle. "Tell me more." I say back to him.

He takes a long pause and goes into a deep thought, and I look at him and study his features. Everything about him makes my heart races and I could stare at his face for the rest of my days.

"One time!" He gets so excited, snapping me from my thoughts.

"She was actually being sweet and bought me a big bag of gummy bears." He smiles but disappears quickly. I can't have much time to think and ask to why before he answers it for me.

"Vic ended up stealing them and hiding them from me. Great big brother, yes?" He smiles.

..

I didn't bother saying I missed him back, because what's the point in it? It will only make my feelings grow stronger for him and if they grow any stronger I might never be able to get over him.

He suggested we cam in a bit, saying it would be best so we could talk better. I couldn't agree anymore though. Seeing and speaking to him all at once is the best communication to me. There is never a dull moment between us and I only hope he feels the same way. 

Same way?

Same way as in, friends.

Right?

I have been over this way too many times and its hurting my head. I know that I love him but I also know that his heart isn't to me. It's with Hailey, and I can only accept that.

..

"Addison" Mike says with such a lovely tone that I honestly can't but help smile.

"Mike." I say.

"We need to talk." He says and I feel as if my face is on fire. I caused this space between us and I feel horrible about it.

MIKE'S POV

She looks at me and I can feel she is unsure of what to say or do. I want to hold her and comfort her and let her know it will be okay and that I will be here for her. It's not that easy though.

Last night, dick. My conscience says in a harsh tone and she speaks.

"I know and I am sorry. Hailey.. she just got to me." She studders and I can feel my heart being torn at the words. "I don't know. I'm over it." She says and I can tell she isn't and I want to let her know Hailey isn't what she thinks but it's way harder to think than say.

"It's not like that, Addi." 

"Then what is it like?" She spits.

I have never seen this side from her and I can only hope this is the worst that happens cause I don't know if she can take what is coming up next.

"It's nothing!" I raise my voice a tad bit. I can tell she's a bit hurt at my aggresive side, but it is true.

Hailey isn't what I want.

"Besides that." I take a deep breath. "Thats not what I am here to discuss."

I can feel my heart breaking into two at what I am about to tell her and I can't meet her eyes. I haven't been able to this whole cam session. I am a fuck up and I don't know how else to put it. 

She gives me a look that I can't put into words so I speak to her as to what I have been holding in.

"I know you don't care. I know you're upset at me at hiding the fact that you thought I was dating Hailey but wasn't so I figured I should let you know this." I take a deep breath in and gauge her reaction.

Nothing.

"I ended up going to a party last night with some friends and I kissed someone." I look off to the side and go again, "I kissed her while I was drunk and I ended up taking her shirt off." I pause a second and say in a hushed tone, "And that's it."

She looks at me with a face that I have never seen before, and I can feel tears starting to form in my eyes at the sight before me. I can tell she has a lump in her throat by the way she is staring at me and the way her neck muscles are moving.

She speaks way too quickly for me and if it wasn't for me sitting at my desk chair, I would be on my knees at the venom in her voice.

"I kissed my ex, Tyler. So it's whatever."

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