Finding Us Again

Trying To Escape

Nina POV---

I woke up the next morning with a headache and still heartbroken. I knew it was going to happen eventually. And I completely thought I was prepared for it. I thought I'd be fine when the time came.
Now I realize you can't really prepare for the man you love with every part of you to have a baby with someone else. Even if she is his wife.
I honestly didn't want to move. I didn't want to get out of bed or do anything else. I just wanted to lay in bed with Lynx and not worry about anything else in life right now.
But I knew I couldn't do that. I knew if I got up I'd be able to find something to help clear my mind....

So I decided to get up and shower. Hopefully that would help me clear my mind and figure out something to do...
I started the shower and stepped inside.

The hot water hitting my skin was soothing. I stood under it and just let it run over me. I closed my eyes and instantly saw Ian's beautiful ocean blue eyes.
His perfect smile shining right at me.

"I love you Nina. Nothing will ever change that baby"
"I love you too Ian. And always will"

He leaned in and put his hand on my cheek. My skin instantly felt hot. I could feel my cheeks getting red.
"God you're so damn beautiful"
He leans in and kisses me.
Those soft perfect lips felt like velvet against mine. They were a perfect fit for mine.

I opened my eyes, heart pounding in my chest, and took a deep breath.
God I miss him so much. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. About us?
I needed to hurry up and find something to distract me from the reality of him fully moving on and living his life just fine without me. While I was feeling like a fish out of water.

I finished in the shower and sat on my bed wrapped in my towel. It seemed like no matter where I looked there was a memory of Ian. Of our life together. Of our love. As I sat there I started thinking about what I was going to do.

I knew I didn't want to stay in L.A. Everyone is gone on vacation. And I didn't want to be here right now. I didn't want to risk running into Ian and Nikki. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. Not right now. I'd be able to fake a smile, that Ian would see right through, and then I'd completely break afterwards. And I wasn't really ready for it.
Atlanta!!!
I don't know what made it pop into my head. But my mind was screaming at me to go to Atlanta. I knew I'd be comfortable there. I'd be able to relax and not have to worry about running into Ian. I'd be able to clear my mind and deal with the overwhelming emotions that were taking over right now...

I got up to get some clothes on and pack. I checked my phone and booked a flight. I had 3 hours to get ready. I didn't really need much. I still had the condo in Atlanta that Ian and I shared. And I still had clothes and stuff there.
So I just needed to pack a few things.

After finding something to wear to the airport, I started to get dressed. I wanted to just be comfortable. So I threw on some black jeans shorts, a light grey tank top that said Flawless on it and a pair of grey Chuck Taylor's.

I threw my hair up in a messy bun and started to pack my bag. It only took me about an hour to pack my bag. I called a car and made sure I had everything.
I got Lynx and headed downstairs.

As I was making sure everything was the way it needed to be for me to leave I heard the car pull up.
I grabbed my bag, purse and Lynx. I stopped to put in some natural looking lipgloss and make sure I didn't look like I cried myself to sleep the night before and headed out.

The ride to the airport was quick. And the flight went by fast because I was paying more attention to my tablet then anything.

I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help myself from checking on Ian. Checking his social media and news reports. I knew it was going to make me want to cry. But I needed to do it.

That lead to me looking at old pictures of us. And thinking about us. I really wanted to break down. My heart was hurting. I felt like I was broken. And nothing was going to fix me. I had to put it all away. I didn't want to break down in this flight. I knew as soon as I was in our condo though between this and the memories that were sure to come flooding in, I'd definitely end up breaking down and cry my heart out.

The flight landed and I went to rent a car. I signed a few autographs and took a few pictures. And was out of the airport within an hour and a half.

Once I was in the SUV I had rented I made sure Lynx was safe in the front seat, plugged my phone into the radio and pushed play while at the light.

When -Ed Sheeran's- Kiss Me- started playing I instantly smiled. I loved this song. And I smiled remembering how much Ian hated it, because I played it all the time.

Pulling onto the street of the condo instantly brought back memories. I remembered everything. From the first time we saw the condo, to deciding it was the one for us, to buying it and moving in. And everything else.

When I pulled into the driveway I needed to just breath for a moment. I knew once I walked in I'd cry remembering everything.

I took a deep breath and gathered myself. I got Lynx and got out. I got my bag and walked up the steps. I took another deep breath before putting my key in the lock and opening the door.
It was already starting to get dark. So I turned the light in the doorway on.

My eyes roamed around the beautiful living room decorated in neutral colors with little splashes of blue and purple spread throughout it.
I sat my bag down and let Lynx out of her travel bag. Lynx was right at home. Running and jumping up on the couch and laying down. I laughed to myself.

I made my way further into the condo. Taking it all in like it was the first time seeing it. It had been so long since I've been here.
I walked into the kitchen and flipped the light on. The sleek black and stainless steel decor was exactly how we had left it. I got out Lynx's food and water dish and filled them both up. I opened the fridge to get a water. And made a mental note that I definitely need to get some shopping done.
I opened one of the drawers in the kitchen to find the take out menus.
I sat at the bar stool in front of the counter and looked through them. After deciding on Chinese food, I called and ordered.

I took my bag upstairs and into the master bedroom. As soon as I turned the light on I felt a tear slide down my face. All of the love that was shared in this room came flooding back. I sat my bag down and walked out.

I wanted to at least eat my food before I became a complete emotional wreck.
I sat in the couch with Lynx flipping through the TV waiting for my food.
I decided to watch Dazed & Confused. As soon as I decided on what to watch the door bell rang. I got up, paid for my food and went to the kitchen. I got out a plate and cup for my pop. And a fork.
I went back to the living room and sat down to eat.
After eating I wanted to finish the movie. So I curled up on the couch with Lynx and covered up with Ian's favorite throw blanket. It still smelled just like him. It was so comforting.

I must have dozed off on the couch. At 6:50 a.m. I woke up to someone coming in the door. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. I tried to just lay still. But I couldn't. I was shaking.
I quietly rolled off the couch and crawled behind it.
I knew Ian had a bat around here somewhere I just had to get to it. Whoever was coming in was still at the door. I looked around frantically for the bat.
When my eyes landed on it over by the TV. I crawled quickly over to it and got the bat. I stood up slowly. Trying so hard to be quiet.

I walked over to the wall and tried to peek around without being seen. It was still dark so I couldn't really see anything.
The door opens and someone steps in. I couldn't see anything. Just a tall man. At least I think it's a man...
Ok Nina. You got this. Remember what Ian told you, "Put all your weight behind a swing and you'll be fine baby"
I took a deep breath and prepared to swing. As soon as the door shut I was ready to jump out.

I jumped out right as it shut...

"Get out.. I've already called 911" and I stepped forward, getting ready to swing away.

"Nina wait. Wait. It's me. It's me Ian" he yelled while turning the light on. As soon as the light came on I was face to face with the love of my life. Staring into his ocean blue eyes.